Kellin's POV:
Work was a mess the next week. I called Alex and he agreed to give me one more week off, due to myself getting use to this heavy ass brace. I really hate it so far. People stare at me and I feel really uncomfortable. I hope that son of a bitch is in jail right now, suffering. He could die for all I care.
Okay, maybe I'm getting out of hand.
Anyways, Alena said one of the other employees quit so she had to work double shifts, covering mine and his shifts. I felt really bad for her. But no matter how many times I told her I could come in, she always insisted me not to come.
"No, no, this is your week, I'm not gonna let you ruin it." She always said. So with a sigh, I usually just nodded.
And then she works the shifts. I think she thought I was happy having a week off, but I actually felt bad, adding more onto her already stressful plate. But I guess it's what she wants, and she has a reasoning apparently.
So, due to not working, my week has been boring and pretty uneventful. Vic and I haven't talked for a few days, which is kinda upsetting. But I'm trusting him, I just wish he wouldn't take so long. I'm really impatient aren't I? Yes, I am.
Justin and I went out to the movies last night, but I got some stares. And not like "What a weirdo" looks like, sympathetic looks. And I extremely hate sympathetic looks, from anyone in general. But I got through it, and the movie was worth seeing.
Basically, the movie talked about the history of a band Justin and I listen to a lot. It was pretty interesting, seeing all the struggles they went through to get where they are today. In a way, I wish that was us. I've always wanted to become famous. I mean, who wouldn't? You get paid for making music, touring, meeting your fans. You're a role model, but that's the only part I dislike.
You see, I don't think I'm a very good role model. Sure, I do good deeds sometimes, but I'm selfish, impatient, rude, mean, a brooder, moody, boring, hot headed, and just plain awful sometimes. So, I don't know if people would look up at me for my voice or stuff, but I rather it be that rather than who I really am.
Because quite frankly, I hate who I am.
I hate being so lanky and skinny. I hate my family life and how I never feel important to anyone. Sometimes I don't even feel important to Vic. I know that's a lie, but I just can't help it. My mind wanders sometimes.
Especially when I don't take my pills. Which...I haven't been. I've been in the hospital, you know. Vic's going to be so pissed if I say anything. Now, I'm not dumb, I'm back on them now. I just gotta get into the routine again. So everything's okay...I think. I don't really know anymore. In all honesty, I wish I could just restart everything.
I opened my laptop, immediately opening Spotify and playing Top Of The World, by The Juliana Theory. I love that song. I just need to focus on music instead right now. Because all I do is worry and panic over useless shit if I get lost in my head for too long. Which, I'm doing again.
Shit, this is hard.
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Austin's POV:
July nineteenth is nearing, and I'm starting to feel very anxious, yet excited as well. I just want to see his beautiful face again. Those innocent, big eyes of his. I miss the way his hair always seemed to fit his facial figure and how he was insecure about everything. The only problem is I don't know how he feels about me now. I mean, it's been awhile. I'm famous now, what will he think about that? I know he's always had the dream to become famous, so would he be jealous? Just thinking about these things makes me more nervous, I should really stop.
