The Weird Wacky Random stuff that goes on in my Head!!

hey :)

Hi everybody

It's 2018

I don't think I've written on here for at least a year

and I've changed

Damn it I've changed so much 

And I'm so happy I did

Can all of you just take a moment and go back to the first chapter of this thing? Read those stories of grief and hopelessness and all that that I used to write? Cringe at the over dramatization of all those moments and the lack of correct grammar and abbreviations that I actually thought were cool?

Guys it's all gone now. 

I am so happy. I swear. I genuinely think I've gotten to a good point in life. 

..sometimes I have some not-so-happy moments. Sure, everyone has them. Sometimes they get really bad. But. I'm still doing really good. Like. Extremely good. 

And I'm seriously happy. 

I've gotten into K-Pop btw. XD Honestly it was about time. Even if a friend (YES I HAVE FRIENDS NOW ) hadn't introduced me continuously to k-pop groups, I would've eventually found myself in the deep hole that's the kpop fandom. 

And I'm happy. 

I've never been into a music band/group/etc. Seriously, only the Beatles ever had my heart, but no recent bands or like, bands together in this thoment had ever been anything of interest to me.

My music playlist is now filled with amazing songs and albums that make me even happier. 

(I'm an EXO-L btw, and ehh like aaaalmost and ARMY. I tried getting into NCT, but their music isn't really my style though the guys are....<3)(BUT EXO IS BETTER <33333)

Lmao remember when I used to say I didn't understand love and crushes and all that crap.

HAHAHAHAHA

TELL THAT TO MY BIASES IN EXO

BC THAT MEI IS GONE

DEAD

DISEASED

I IS ALL ABOUT THE LOVE AND CRUSHES AND ALL THAT CRAP

AND THEM BEAUTIFUL BOYS IN EXO AREN'T CHANGING THAT ANYTIME SOON

ahem

Also, you may have noted I said a friend introduced me to EXO and kpop. yeah, you read that right. 

In this very moment, I currently have a class full of friends. Yes. 

The hate in our class...it just packed its stuff and left with a few select people who changed schools. 

The people who I used to hate so much, who I used to cry about because I thought they were just SOO mean...they are the nicest people I know. 

Seriously, I love every person in my class. Well, atm the girls because I'm not really that close to the guys 

So let's rephrase that and say that I genuinely feel that I am friends with every girl in our class, and that I have my own group of friends that I trust and love. 

I think we've all grown up (in our class I mean). But I know I've grown up most of all. I've spotted my flaws and I'm working on fixing them. 

I didn't get back in to NHS this year...that sucked a lot. But with that as an exclusion, this year has just been amazing for me. 

I've gotten the tips of my hair dyed blue btw. I've always wanted to do that :)

I've also been reading less lately. Which isn't as bad as it sounds because my "normal" amount of reading was like ANY free moment I had, I would read, but now it's just like whenever I feel like reading, I read. Did that make sense? I don't revolve my entire world around books anymore, I have new interests that my world revolves around now, but books are still part of it. 

Not that I'm not still the crazy fangirl book nerd I've always been. Lmao, I just finished reading the third book of the Trials of Apollo and can I just say...

fml 

but anyways

maybe no one will read this chapter, maybe this story is so old that there are no readers left intrested but still, I want to write this at least for myself. 

I don't think I'll be coming back to this book for a long time...if ever. And I guess this is just me closing off this "chapter" in my life? Oh god I'm gonna go back to this and read it and cringe over this dramatic sentence.

I guess this is a goodbye? Not from wattpad no, I haven't really been on it much but I still have friends I've made here that I keep in contact with. So it's not a goodbye, really. 

But it's a goodbye to the old me, as cheesy and dumb as that sounds. ugh that sounds bleh but actually, it's a goodbye to that. 

And a thank you to all of you guys who put up with this thing and commented and voted and helped me through a not so great phase in my life. 

I'm really happy.

I know I've kept repeating that through this entire chapter, but you have no idea how much that means to me. I've never really felt that I was completely satisfied with me. 

But I now am. 

so thank you :)

- mei