Someone asked me what was the most painful thing I've ever felt. I answered that it was the days I breathe without having her in my life at all.
But that's what I only thought...
Standing here, glued in my place while watching her walking down the aisle, wearing a beautiful white gown... I realized nothing more could be painful.
She was the most beautiful bride I've ever seen, and this was exactly the scene we dreamed about before. In which she'll walk down the aisle and I'll stand in the altar, waiting to take her hand.
It was all happening now, but only to fulfill her dreams and not mine at all because from this day on, I won't be a part of her life anymore.
Am I already forgotten? I asked myself while looking at her.
If yes, what about our memories? Was it made only to be replaced with the new ones she made with someone else? I asked once more, still looking at her sheen face.
How about the promises? Who among the two of us will bury it down like it was never been said? I asked, heart wailing, filled with so many questions I knew would be left unanswered.
But she was smiling, she was glowing... she looks so happy.
From this moment I feel like I lost her again. I let her slip away and now, I'm letting her marry someone else.
It clenched my heart and for a second, I think breathing became difficult for me to do.
Until she walks past me, her eyes not leaving his. They were so in love that it's hard to see anyone else but each other.
I felt that too, and I know the feeling she has right now wasn't really new, because I made her feel that way before... when there's still an us, before he came, before he took my place.
That should be me...
That should be me who would marry her but...
She belongs to someone else now.
It's been almost two years that we're over, but here I am... still shattered, still lost and unfixed on her wedding day.
I was still the same person she left. The same person who never stops loving her.
"You may now kiss the bride."
I watched how he lifted her veil and held her eyes.
She gave her sweetest smile, the sweetest I ever had, but today it wasn't for me anymore, it was for the groom.
He lifted her chin just as he held her face to own her lips. She closed her eyes and I choose to look away.
Everyone inside the church cheered and gave their warmest support to the newlywed couples. They must be very happy for them, especially her parents. They must be proud of their son in law.
Remembering the cold stares I received from them earlier in the ceremony heightens the ill feeling inside me, but it doesn't matter anymore because they won't see me near their daughter again.
I look up once more to see her for the last time, but when I saw the joy flashed on her eyes, I realized I should stop right here. It wasn't right anymore to stare and hope for her to glance back.
She was married now, what else was there to hope for?
This was the perfect cue for me to leave. No one will notice.
"Man, you're going?"
"Damn it." I halted and cursed under my breath when Soonyoung blocks my way.
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