mi amor | jungkook AU

xviii

yoongi not responding led nya to two conclusions: one, he liked me or two, he felt awkward about the question. she stayed the rest of the day until night came before she left. during the entire time she was here, she'd give little encouragements to contact yoongi or try to see him in person to explain.

after she left, i tried getting a hold of him. but, it seemed a bit harder. he wouldn't answer his calls, or texts, and i was starting to believe that maybe nya's conclusion number one was right. i didn't want it to be, though. i was happy with he and i being friends...

i made it my determination to go to the boys house after i cleaned up. i woke up ready to go. i entered the pincode to their house and made a beeline for his room. he was at his desk, head turned up at me, "you know, it would've been nice to have gotten a text that you were coming." i shook my head, "no it wouldn't have. you would've left."

he pursed his lips and that's how i knew i was right. a sigh escaped his lips as he looked away from me. "is this about yesterday?" he asked me. i hummed in response. he knew damn well why i was here. things were starting to click for me. now all i wanted was to confirm my suspicions. he scoffed and turned his back on me. "yoongi, answer me." i scold him.

he gets up and turns to face me, "or what? it's not like you can prove anything anyway."

i move closer to him until we're face to face, "i'll get a lie detector if i need to. i don't care just tell me the fucking answer." we were staring at each others eyes, and i'm pretty sure a third party could see and feel the anger and frustration coming from the both of us. he kept his straight face, but his eyes showed it all. there were secrets waiting to spill out from him, and i could feel it.

he pushes past me to his bed, "why does this matter now?" i didn't know what answer would've been the best answer to get him to tell. we fell silent for a moment. there was no right answer for this, and if there was, i didn't have it, "things came to light."

silence.

he rubbed his face with his hands in frustration, and then combed his hair. he got up and started pacing the room. i watched, a little scared, as he moved from one side to the other. he wouldn't look at me. i stood in place just... watching.

hoseok came into the room, but yoongi yelled at him to leave. hoseok looked at him, then me, and he left when the realization that something wasn't right. he left too quick to my liking. my stomach was starting to feel a little uneasy, and words were beginning to rise up within me. it felt like word vomit.

i bit my lip to keep my mouth shut, but that didn't work, "can you stop fucking pacing around and answer my stupid question? it wasn't fucking hard to answer at all if it's a no."

as soon as the words left my mouth, yoongi quickly stopped pacing and looked over to me, "you think it's fucking easy to answer this question? it would be easy for you because you like jungkook. your answer would be an easy no, but you just don't fucking understand that it's a yes for me. huh? i've liked you for over five years, amor. i didn't say anything because i figured that one day you'd realize that, but it seems a little late for that realization to come."

his breathing was frantic, and so was mine. i'm pretty sure the whole house had heard us because he was practically shouting at me. a teardrop fell on my chest, bringing me to realization i was crying, "yoongi..." my mind was blank, and i wasn't sure if i felt the same. nothing felt real or right to answer at this moment.

he looks away, "am, just leave." my heart breaks at those words. he didn't want to talk about it, but i suppose it would hurt us more if we continued. i didn't move though, "i want to talk it out..."

"there's nothing more for us to talk about..."

"yoongi, don't say that."

"amor, leave. i want to be alone right now."

i started to cry harder and my chest felt tighter. everything felt like it was being blown up, and my head felt crushed because of how hard i was crying, "no i want us to talk. i want to figure this out. i want us to still be friends. i --"

he groans, "not right now! leave! we can't figure this shit out right now if we're going to be like this! we can't be friends right now! nothing right now is okay for us! i love you more than a friend and it's too late for us! i know it's too late... LEAVE."

scared at his tone of voice, i leave. the door shuts behind me, and i cry myself down the hallway. from the corner of my eye i can see the boys, but i don't know who exactly is there. i don't bother to look at them when i apologize for the way yoongi and i were acting, and i ask for them to not bother me or yoongi for a while. i made sure to emphasize that i wouldn't respond if they tried to message me. then, i left.

i went home, and i cried.