After Infinity War

Part 46

BUCKY

There is a short line of us seated at the very front, consisting of Natasha, Clint, Thor, Bruce, Rhodey, Sam, Pepper, Peter and I.
Behind us sits T'challa, Shuri, Strange, Wanda, Quill, Drax, Mantis, Groot and Nebula.
Included in the large crowd gathered behind is Laura and all of Clint's kids, Peter's Aunt, Okoye, plenty of people from Wakanda and Wong.
Two holes are dug in front of us, with two coffins side by side, ready to be put in. I fault every time I look to Steve's coffin, and have to close my eyes for a couple seconds.
Rhodey steps up and takes the stand, after Pepper finds herself unable to speak. He looks around at us all, and then back at the coffins, and starts to speak.
'I've known Tony for a long time. A long time. I knew him when he was still supplying weapons, not saving the world. He was a problematic person, I'm not going to stand here and glorify him, he'd hate me if I did. He made mistakes, we all have. But he always made them with an idealised world in his head.' He stops and places his hands on either side of the podium.
'Tony always had this...this ability to make everyone's problems his own. He'd make every issue one he needed to solve and he solved them, he made this world a better place and I will always take that with me. I can't say much more than stereotypes here, I'm not a speaker, but Tony was the most selfless man I knew, and the world will be worse without him. I loved that man, and I never said it enough.' He stops for a moment, then nods to himself. He's said his piece and he steps down from the podium, meaning it is my time to step up.
I almost trip on my way up. My balance is off, due to the abandoning of my prosthetic arm. I didn't want to be in any position to fight, especially on a day like this.
'I intended to write something,' I say, my voice sounding odd in the microphone, 'I couldn't get myself to...I could never really figure out what to write.' I try not to look around but I find my eyes drawn to each individual, from Pepper who hangs her head low, and Natasha who stares straight ahead, a strong look on her face. My eyes rest on Shuri and she catches my eyes; she smiles slightly and nods. I nod back slightly and continue.
'I never wanted to go fight in the war. I wanted to be a doctor. I was twenty-five when they called me up to fight. One of my brothers was called up too. I never fought it but I never wanted to go, I didn't want that life. I was terrified of it all. Steve tried to get into the war at least fifteen different times.' I smile slightly, remembering him as he used to be, 'I'm so sad none of you could have seen him as he was. The kid was a wreck. He had asthma, heart problems, breathing problems and could barely carry himself. But he never doubted that fighting was the thing he should be doing. Whether he died or not. Of course he didn't want to fight either, he just knew it was the right thing.' I know I'm rambling on, but I feel as though it doesn't matter so much. This is as much my goodbye as it is there's and I feel I have every right to speak as long as I need.
'He was chosen for a reason. To become Captain America. He was selfless and brave and one of the best men in this world. When I was being used in Hydra, he bought me back. And I will always be indebted to him. I was orphaned at a young age, I was the oldest of four, two brothers and one sister. Steve's parents helped bring us up a lot and once they died Steve and I really stuck together and I just...God I miss him.' I lean against the podium with my one good arm.
'I don't really know what I'm saying, what I'm doing here. I loved that man more than I can say and I can't believe he's gone.' I blink tears out of my eyes, 'We've lost each other a lot of times. But I've never gotten used to us not being together. I...I hope that he's found his girl at last and I hope one day I'll see him again. But I plan to make the most of this world that they've left us with. I don't plan on leaving for a long time. I don't know what I'll do with it, but I know it'll be something good.'