I know it's been a while. Don't be mad. You guys can kill me after the chapter.
But I hope you guys are ready for this chapter.
5:45 am rn goodnight.
Not edited.
Louis didn't sleep, he couldn't. There were nights that this has happened before. He would stay up for hours just thinking. His mind occupied by so many cluttering thoughts, both negative and random. Particularly the negative ones having the most impact on him, making him lose sleep. He's dealt with sleepless nights for a long time.
In the beginning it was terrible. He couldn't cope well with his thoughts, he didn't understand them, especially at such a young age. It invaded his mind at the worst times, mostly at night and made him fall apart. He couldn't control his thoughts, they would control him.
But he's managed to tame his thoughts better as he got older. He would occasionally take sleeping pills or rarely his antidepressant pills that he was finally prescribed to. It would help somewhat but he knew it wouldn't go away permanently. His depression always crept up behind him like a taunting shadow.
Despite the prescribed pills, he didn't like taking them. At times it would actually make things worse. His depression would increase drastically and so would his insomnia. He would be a wreck all night, his thoughts fucking with his mind.
Over the years he's learned how to maintain theses terrible nights. He would simply draw. He would sketch anything his mind would think of. His pencil would glide against the paper each night and create something new. It was a great distraction for him and it still is to this day.
Since he would draw instead of sleep, his drawings got better and better throughout the years. A bittersweet situation but it's one of the reasons why he became a tattoo artist.
But this night was different. It had nothing to do with his depression. No, it was about Harry. After he stormed out in a blink of an eye, Louis was in complete shock. He couldn't move, he was too stunned to go after Harry. But even if he could with his shaky legs, he didn't know what to say.
Harry kissed him.
And he kissed back.
He didn't mean to. It just, it's been a long time since he's kissed anyone. Maybe that's why he kissed back so effortlessly. He subconsciously missed the feeling of lips on his and he went for it. It just happened to be Harry and his lips, god, his lips were so soft, so plump against his.
He couldn't not kiss back.
But he believes it could have happened with anyone else if it wasn't the green eyed boy. He just missed the feeling of it without knowing it. Or that's what he's trying to convince his delusional mind.
Not even two minutes after Harry left, Demi finally returned. She questioned Louis why Harry was here and worse, she asked him why he was crying. That did something to Louis' heart. He didn't respond and went into his room silently.
He couldn't sleep, he attempted to but failed each time. All he could think about was Harry crying once again because of him. That's all he ever does is make Harry cry.
He was so mad at himself because he was at fault for everything. He shouldn't have let it get to this point, it went too far. Harry should have never kissed him and only Louis is to blame for it. He knew about the boys feelings towards him, anyone with eyes could see it. But he never put a stop to it. He let Harry continue to grow feelings because he didn't think it would lead to anything. He never imagined Harry actually kissing him.
