Not Me

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        I look in the mirror and never see the same me twice. I see a self-destructive monster. A monster wanting to be free. It reflects in my lack luster eyes. The dark rings consuming what light it could when once it was a reflector of warm hues. I am not me. I now see in shades of gray when once I could see a million colors. What I want you to see, and who I am, are on different spectrums. I put on that smile for you. All of you. I am a fake. The person you see is not me. You see what I once was or what I want you to see. I put on this invisible mask of happiness to distract from what is hidden  underneath. This is how I have always been. You never know because I never show. I feel captive in a body that isn't my own. I feel like I don't belong to this world. I am on the inside of a pitch black house, watching everyone through a glass door with diamond eyes. A glass door that illuminates all those I can see. Too bad my diamond eyes can't illuminate me.

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