Cadaverous Love

Chapter Fifty-Five

I pace the hospital waiting room, trying not to care about moms hugging their kids tighter to their sides every time I pass. But Darry's hard glare is getting more difficult to ignore.

"What's your problem?" I finally ask him, pushing the words out hard and quiet from between my teeth.

"Emily's in the hospital. What do you think is my problem?" He asks. I shrug, flicking him off in my head as I plop down in one of the green chairs in waiting room, my knees weak. "You didn't tell me. You didn't tell any of us," Darry says. I give him a blank look, waiting for the words that will come either way. "No note, no phone call, no nothing. The rest of us had to find out third hand from a shaken Ponyboy that you two were in Vegas. Vegas, Dallas." He shakes his head and breathes out through his mouth like he's blowing through a straw.

A phone call?

"We left straight from the doctor's office," I defend myself, "there was no time to stop for some stupid note."

"So," he starts off, "you decided it would be a good idea to take Emily, well-aware that she was in dire need of medical attention, three states away for shits and giggles?"

"She wants to go places." I roll my head in a circle, letting my neck crack, "she wants to see the world, not the back of her eyes and some needles in her arms." I watch as the last two people leave the waiting room, done over hearing our conversation.

"Right now, I don't care about what she wants. I care about what she needs. And she doesn't need a boy who takes her on weekend road trips for his own damn benefit. She needs a man who will take care of her."

I scratch my elbow, glaring at the bastard. "She's taken fine care of herself these past few years, she doesn't really need anybody to take care of her. And at this point, I think I know her and her needs or whatever more than you do."

"Just because you've seen the inside of her thighs doesn't mean you know her better, Dallas."

I bolt upright out of my chair, shoving past Darry as my legs take off from underneath me, carrying me down the hall. I stop in the middle of the hallway after taking several turns. I sit down on the floor against the wall, fidgeting and bouncing, unable to stop my heart from beating at a pace faster than I can count.

I slip my hand into my inner jacket pocket, my hand brushing my chest and my mind pausing on the thought of Emily's touch. I've only been away from her for a couple of hours. I pull Emily's journal out, I snagged it when she fell asleep and let it drop into her lap. I felt guilty when I thought about taking it and reading all that she's never shared with me, but not guilty enough to stop myself. I flip to the most recent page, a page dog eared and doodled on. I scan it over quickly, hearts and stars line the margins and a sun with glasses on marks the top left corner.

Dear Diary,

I suppose it's been a while since I've given you any of my thoughts. One could say I've been a bit... preoccupied. But to sum things up, I ran away from home to the Curtis's place, I fell in love— and oh— dad died but managed to ask for forgiveness from beyond the grave. It nags at me, tortures me, that I couldn't bring myself to forgive him earlier, when I was away from him. I'm getting somewhere with it now--I think. It's been on my mind less frequently these past few days, then again, these past few days have been pretty eventful. Dally, the man I'm in love with, and I are headed to Vegas.. I'm not quite sure why he picked that specific destination, but that's okay. We left immediately following a doctor's appointment in which I was told I have a life-threatening-something-or-other. They told me that all they can really make out of it is that it's a blockage in my heart that has spread to different nerve bunches throughout my body, creating muscle aches, migraines, and making me bruise easily. They also said that it should be fixed with some medication that has only been out maybe a month now, pushing fluids, and if nothing else, surgery. It sounds simple to me. I don't know why they were making such a big deal out of it. I haven't told Dallas any of this besides that I'm sick, I don't know how he'll react.