With a shudder I stand and begin to walk away into the darkness. But this time it doesn't scare me. This time, it's my choice- I'm the one deciding- no one is leaving me.
"Where are you going?" Dallas asks.
"On a walk." This is the longest sentence I can say with out my voice breaking. My feet begin to move towards the dirt path.
"Well, I'm coming with." Dallas springs up and walks towards me. We walk in silence towards the lake until the only light source is the butt of his cigarette, barely glowing in between his fingers.
"Why do you let it get to you?" He asks abruptly. I stop walking.
"Why don't you let it get to you?" My voice rises slightly, "Dammit Dallas, believe it or not, it's okay to feel."
"Look where feeling got you, you're depressed."
"Look where not feeling got you, you're depressed." I retort.
"At least I don't make some big show out of it, at least the whole world doesn't know."
"Do you think I try to make people know? Do you think I want people see me cry? Well, I don't. And Dallas- the whole world might not know how sad you are.. But I do. You're drowning in an ocean of liquor, cancer sticks and your own thoughts. You're sinking like a rock, because you think it's better to be tough, hard and heavy."
"And you-" he starts, "you're too damn soft. You float on the waves and don't do a thing when you sink under them." his words blow me away, and after all of this, I'm suddenly upset with myself for doubting him so seriously. "There's no middle."
"...Do you think a feather could some how help the rock break the surface again?"
"No. It would just drag the little thing down with it." I feel like my body is being ripped apart as these words leave his lips. He throws the little piece of a cigarette far into the trees, not a sign of a still glowing ember. Then he peels off his shirt.
"Dallas- what?"
"Come on," he sets off at a jog towards the lake, "I'm done with this sad shit." He yells over his shoulder. I half sprint to catch up.
I stand in front of the lake, my lungs gasping for air. The bright, full moon reflects elegantly in the water, mesmorizing me.
Dallas slips his fingers under the hem of my shirt and pulls it off over my head. I let out a burst of nervous laughter.
- We both stand at the edge of the dock, stripped down to our underwear. Clothes scattered in chaos over the wood. Dallas fingers press against my waist and in a panic I push him back. He loses his balance and falls off the dock. Popping out of the water he half shouts
"What the hell?" I shrug and run my hands over my arms, "Oh, I know, things were getting too hot for you."
"No.."
He laughs at me, "Now you have to jump."
"What?"
"Jump."
"Dallas, I-"
"Stop thinking. Just do it. There's nothing to be afraid of anymore."
I bend my knees and jump.
The water floods over my head and send goose bumps all over my arms in an instant. A hand wraps around my arm and pulls me above the surface. I take in a deep breathe and blink the water out of my eyes.
My heart beats so loud I'm almost positive he can hear it.
"Dallas?!" Someone yells.
"Emily?! You guys okay?!"
"Oh, they're okay!" Darry's voice is apparent through the chirps of crickets and the slow hoots of owls. "I found Dallas's shirt!"
"Maybe they're doin' it at the lake!"
"That's disgusting and I don't even want to think about that."
"Damn," Dallas mutters, "I think Darry's upset all the time because he ain't getting any." I put a hand over my mouth to stifle laughter.
I pull Dal under the dock as the loud circus of boys gets closer. I press a hand over his mouth, listening to the sound of tramping feet over head.
"Well, whatever it is that they're doing- it doesn't involve clothes." I can tell right off the bat that Steve was the one talking.
"Look, Darry! It's Emily's panties!" Two-Bit's high pitched cackle fills the night air. And just thought I should remind you, I still have my under wear on. He's just trying to prod a yell out of Darry.
"Two-Bit, that's not funny and it will never be funny."
"Maybe not, but the look on your face sure was funny!"
"This is just disgusting." Darry continues, "this makes me feel sick."
"People do things, wether you like it or not."
"Let's just go back to the cabin." Steve chimes in. "Two, what are you doing?"
"I'm taking their clothes. What does it look like I'm doing?"
---/Author's note (?) \---
Dear Mom,
I'm sorry for what you just read.
Love,
Emily.
YOU ARE READING
Cadaverous Love
Fanfiction"There's better things than this," he says, "there's gotta be."
