Searching- a Dramione fanfic

Chapter 14- Apologies and Acceptances

Apologies and Acceptances

It had five days since that night on the bridge. We were in Poland now. The winds of winter were really trying to break into autumn as it was quiet chilly and Draco and I both had switched from just long sleeves to at least a jumper. The nights were starting to become longer and the skies where starting to get heavy with the need to snow.

Draco and I hadn't talked. I couldn't quite tell if he was avoiding me or if I was avoiding him or if we both where avoiding each other. Every time I looked at him I felt guilt punch me in the gut. I told myself that I shouldn't feel guilty, that I didn't have to rush into this if I didn't want to, that I didn't have to do this at all. After I had gotten back to the hotel after our kiss I wanted to just leave him and find my parents on my own. But, as much as I didn't want to admit it, I needed him. If it wasn't for his incredible talent of being able to aparate so smoothly, we would be in a lot worse condition than slight headaches. He knew more about that file on my parents than I did, which meant he probably had a good idea where they were. And he had money. Lots of money. I don't know how I would have paid for hotels and meals without him. But other than that, I simply couldn't bring myself to leave without him.

It was seven o'clock in the evening. The sky outside was dark as pitch without even a few stars to help light the sky. We'd managed to check into two separate rooms in an inn called, "Przytulny pensjonat", without saying a word to each other. The silence between us was growing increasingly awkward with each minute we spent together. And the minutes I wasn't with Draco had me feeling guilty as ever.

I sighed and snapped my book shut. I had started a new one a few days ago, but with Draco constantly dancing through my mind, I really had no idea what the book was even about. And, as you might have guessed, Draco had stumbled into my head yet again. I couldn't keep living like this. I couldn't concentrate, or think, or operate properly. I needed to talked to him and explain why I did what I did. Maybe he would understand, maybe he wouldn't, but hopefully my guilt would finally leave.

Slipping my feet into my slippers, I trudged out of my room and down the hall to stand in front of his door. I could hear the muffled sounds of Polish television through the door, but I couldn't hear any indication that Malfoy was somewhere in the room. I took a deep breath and rapped my knuckles lightly on the wood. It was quiet for a moment except for the telly and then the doorknob turned and Draco's silhouette stood in the door way, illuminated by the colourful flashing lights coming from behind.

"Draco, I wanted to say that I'm sorry." I mumbled. "For the night on the bridge. I should have stayed and explained."

I couldn't really see his face, so I stared shyly up towards his head. He tilted it slightly to the right, like he was thinking. Something on the television made a large bang and screech and then a high voice was gibbering away in Polish.

"Hermione, it's okay." He said like it was obvious. "I shouldn't have... you just weren't... it's my fault." He stammered trying to find the right words.

"No." I said remembering the night in Belgium when he kept saying everything was his fault. "It wasn't your fault. I just wasn't ready." I explained.

I thought I saw his silhouette nod and then we where in silence again. I didn't want to leave, but I felt like that was what I was suppose to do. The telly made an odd noise again and the room lit up bright green. I could see his face then in those seconds. He didn't look sad like I expected him to look, in fact, I thought I saw a small smile on his lips.

Oh the lips! That was another thing about him that I couldn't get out of my mind. How could lips be that soft? It just didn't seem real. I wanted to touch his lips and feel if they felt the same as I remembered. I needed to touch his lips again.