Black, is the word that describes everything now. The empty and numb place. It felt like my depression, when you do not feel anymore. Is this how I die? I asked myself as I heard it echoing through space. It's just me, alone, with my thoughts.
"Scary much." I whispered.
Even the whisper felt like the loudest thing on earth. Or where-ever I was. I don't remember much. Everything seems to be a fuzz.
"I... Don't remember my name. My age, my gender." I placed my hands on my chest squizing them.
"Yep, that's a female part." I chuckled.
I was floating for a few seconds til I saw a small beam of light. I swam towards it and it seemed to get bigger each time. When it was almost the size of my body, everything began to shake and I woke up.
I was in hospital, placed onto a bed with me holding a guy's hand...
*WITH ME HOLDING A GUY'S HAND?* I thought to myself as my eyes widened.
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I didn't recognise him and the fact that he didn't face me, made it impossible to even guess. I wanted to wake him up but he was sleeping so peacefully. All of the sudden my nose begun to itch. It was like when you snort some black pepper and you can not resist the sneezing. My lungs filled with air, then it was all pushed out at once with a loud sneez. The guy jumped and then begun to laugh.
"Jesus, you need to stop scaring me. You already done it at your prom!" He laughed, then grew a serious face. "Aside that, are you all okay? That shit was intense. Especially the guy with the gun... Fucking phycho."
I had no words. This random ass guy just poured his words onto me like water and I had no response. He was really cute tho with his brown hair and amazing blue eyes. Since we were holding hands, I assumed that he was my boyfriend.
"Thank you, I uh. I love you boyfriend." I exhaled and smiled at him.
For a moment he had a serious face then he bursted out laughing. "Yeah sure 'girlfriend'." He did quotation marks with his other hand. He laughed for a few seconds more and then realised that I wasn't laughing. There was awkward silence. He lifted his arm and brushed his hair back.
"Uhm, do you really not know what happened?" He asked. This time his facial expression was really serious and he leaned in a little.
"I don't...even remember my own name..." I looked down for a moment as my eyes filled up with tears.
I felt empty. Like, I remember some parts and not others. It felt like someone accidentally got rid of some files and a game is not functioning properly. Somehow I got really emotional and started sobbing.
"Ooohh No-no-no." He placed his palm on my face. " Don't cry. It is okay. I'll help you figure this out okay? Uuuuh... " He stared deeply into my eyes then quickly got up.
After this heartfelt moment he got a doctor into the room. He explained everything what happened last night. The shooting, how I hit my head so hard that it might have caused potential amnesia that can last for 10 weeks or stay for ever, the kid who held the gun and the contract that I needed to sign to keep him away from me with 15 meters distance.
It felt weird because I never knew what it felt like to be rich. It must be fun. Like having all the money and being able to spend it on whatever. Build your own house, buy your own stuff and most importantly drive your dream car. Like I would definitely buy a Porsche.
I signed the contract and they gave me a copy of the contract. They told me that if any time he gets close to me, then I need to notify the police immediately. Now, the only thing that was left to discover is... who the hell is Christopher Mackenzie? Before I could have asked the doctor was already gone. I glanced over to the cute guy and he was asleep. He looked really uncomfortable. My pillow ended up under his head. Also my cover followed. For a second I thought that it was a good idea to lay back without a pillow and a cover... but it wasn't. It was cold, more like icy cold. So I decided to move with the cute guy. I rested my head next to his, put my leg on top of him and I covered ourselves again. Got to say it felt really romantic, even tough I no longer think we are together.
"Good night misterious boy. God, even though I don't know you... I feel like you are the most trust worthy person right now." I whispered. My face moved a little closer to his but then the envy of sleep took me.
In my dreams, there were small bits and shards of memories. It's like a flashback. As my hands went through the shards I remembered those memories. My mother, who was an alcoholic. My depression and crying in bed. My... Youtube channel?
"I have a YouTube channel?" I questioned myself.
Most of the videos came back, like the ice bucket challenge or gaming videos. Things that I have done in the past. Things that felt familiar. But there was still a piece of me that was missing. Wonder how am I going to remember them... I wish that everything would workout the way I want it to be... I want to remember EVERYTHING.
