A Good Kind of Change

Anxious

The rest of the days flew by while I was in Carolina. I was happy for that. I wasn't miserable but I wasn't elated either. I haven't had anymore flashbacks but I had a feeling it wasn't over.

But the good news is that I got Colin's Christmas presents and more clothes on Black Friday.

I cannot explain how happy I am to be on this plane right now. I'm close to weeping tears of joy. I land back in the Bay in less than five minutes and I'm smiling like a maniac. I'm ready to be back home in my own bed or Colin's not having a care in the world.

Colin is at the facility practicing and he thinks my plane comes in later tonight instead of in the afternoon. I got to the airport early and I exchanged tickets to come back earlier. I guess being kind of famous does have it's perks but I will not make a habit out of using it to my advantage often.

Mia is waiting for me as soon as I make it inside the airport. We hug and squeal like we haven't seen each other in weeks instead of days. I'm glad I decided to wear a hoodie, scarf, and sunglasses today because no one is taking pictures of me.

Mia and I make it to her car and she immediately wants to know what happened when I went back home. I tell her everything was fine and I come close to telling her about my past relationship.

The closer we got to the facility the more excited and nervous I got. I missed Colin so much and all I wanted to do was see him. I was practically bouncing in the car as soon as we got in the parking lot and Mia was giving me the side eye. Hater.

Mia thought it was a good idea to change clothes before I came face to face with Colin so I had to change in the bathroom before I saw him. She's too much.

"All eyes are on you now... Just saying" Mia tells me.

She hands me a bag and I slip into one of the stalls and change. Why is it necessary that I change? According to Mia, just because I felt like death I didn't need to dress like it. I pulled out a tight looking pair of jeans, this black long sleeved bodysuit and a pair of Louboutin's. Again, why is this necessary? I sigh and slip out of my comfortable death clothes and put on the other ones. I zip the duffle bag and step out.

Mia whistles at me and fixes my hair so it's tousled and she gives me red lip stain and to put on. I'm only going to peep my man at practice, not to a fashion show. Whatever.

I have to say I do look alright. I look better than I did these past few days. I don't look like death anymore. That's a step up. I don't really look fat now, I look curvy, thick, or whatever but not fat.

Mia tells me how good I look and we head out of the bathroom and all of a sudden Mia sticks her arm out in front of me and puts her finger to her lips. I look at her questioningly and I hear Colin and Anquan coming but I also hear female voices. I look at Mia and smirk. We're standing so they can't see us but we can see them. Colin is looking good in that tight black muscle shirt and his red basketball shorts. I missed him. I also see Anquan and two girls.

I hear one ask them what were they doing tonight and Anquan politely said "probably kickin' back with our girls."

At least one girl had the decency to back off but this other hoe though. She is getting too close to my man.

"Oh you're dating Shanya Chandler right?" she asks while trailing her fingers up and down his chest.

Mia and I sneak around the corner so we're standing behind them and Anquan happens to turn around and smile. He just causally walks towards us and we hug him and then Colin stops walking and turns. He doesn't fully see me until I step back from Mia and Anquan's love fest.

I slowly walk towards Colin swinging my hips slightly with my head held high. Who is this hoe with her hand around my man's bicep? Her smile falls when she notices me but it looked like she grabbed onto his arm tighter. Colin smiles even more and the girl is standing there with this ugly pout face.

She looks up at him and he gets an annoyed look on his face. I walk faster towards him ready to punch home girl but he gives me a look that makes me stop. She's so lucky.

I stop a few feet in front of him and give him the bitch brow. The girl stares me down and I look right back at her. I smirk a little and she lets go of him and walks away with her friend.

"Baby doll she-" he begins but I cut him off.

"Colin I saw. It's okay, but let it be known I do not appreciate her putting your hands on you, you're mine." I say poking him.

He grins at this. "Hell yeah I'm yours just like you're mine. Always."

I wrap my arms around his neck and his wrap around my waist. I hug him like my life depended on it. I get out of my Colin haze and I realized he's all sweaty and gross. I squeal and try to pull back but he holds me tighter and nuzzles his face into my neck. Gosh he's so gross.

I try to fight him off and he starts to tickle me and kisses all over my face. Did I mention I missed him? My phone buzzed in my pocket and I froze. It played the tone that I did not want to hear. Trayson.

"Are you gonna answer it?" Colin asks looking confused.

"No let it ring." I mumble kissing him. I already feel bad because I didn't tell him when it happened. I think I will tell him tonight. It's kind of just gnawing at me. I don't like keeping things from him but this is something huge...

"We gotta get back to practice. We only have about a half hour left. Will you come and watch?" Colin asks sweetly.

I pretend to think about it. "I guess..." I say faking exasperation.

"What you mean you guess?" he replied tickling my sides. I giggle and I grab his hand. We walk back towards Mia and Anquan who we're sucking the life out of each other. They're so gross.

"Yo Quan, your break is over fam. Let's go." he says gripping his shoulder. I laugh at the look on Mia's face. She could kill Colin for interrupting her little make out session.

I grab Mia's hand and we walk behind the guys back to the field laughing and joking the whole way there. Mia and I sit on the bleachers and watch them do "grown man work" as Colin put it. For thirty minutes I watched different kinds of plays go down and soon practice was over and I'm sitting in Colin's car headed back to his house.

I get anxious because I have to tell him. I don't want him getting upset and losing focus from his games behind it though. If I don't tell him it's just going to eat me alive.

I realize that we're in his driveway now and with a long look at me he gets out and I follow. The closer we got to his door the more shaky I got.

Soon we're in his room. "Sit. I'm goin' to take a shower and when I get out be prepared to talk to me Shanya. I wanna know why you've been acting weird."

"Okay..." I say quietly and he disappears into his bathroom leaving me with my thoughts.

I hope he doesn't do anything that'll make me regret telling him. I feel like this is going to be a turning point in our relationship.