hands ⟶ namjin

achtundsechzig

waddup bitches im back on the worst day possible but I needed to stop crying and mAN THE FUCK UP so here I am also im a george ezra stan now

namjoon was petrified of being in the hospital. he understood that he needed help getting back on his feet, but he just wanted to go home. he hated having to depend on people as an independent person. he also hated being babied, and being pitied. he didn't want people to feel sorry for him. he felt like he didn't deserve people's pity.

he was no longer hooked up to a drip and he could move the upper half of his body easily, but his legs just didn't want to hold him up when he tried to walk. both of his legs had been broken while he was in that disgusting basement, so he was spending a lot of time with a physical therapist and nurses, and minimal time with his boyfriend. jin was working a lot of the time and was never around when namjoon was able to see him, which just made the younger boy feel alone.

namjoon sat up in bed, his hands in his lap and his head down. he just wanted to be out of this hell-hole and go back home. he wanted to get back to his job, he wanted to see his friends.

of course yoongi came to see him, occasionally accompanied by hoseok, who had forgiven namjoon for what happened with him and jin since then. thinking about it, namjoon realised that he saw yoongi and hobi more than he saw jin, which pained him. he wanted to spend time with his love.

eventually the door opened. namjoon snapped his head up to see his pink-haired boyfriend walk in, smiling. namjoon smiled too.

"I brought you caprisuns" he said, sitting down in the chair next to namjoon. he wasn't expecting a reply, the younger didn't talk much anymore. he had adjusted to expecting pain when he talked, so he refrained from it as much as he could.

"thank you." namjoon mumbled. he wasn't all that bothered about the caprisuns. he was just focused on whatever time he had with jin today.

"oh, and also, I thought you might want this too.." jin spoke, pulling a phone out of his back pocket ⎯⎯ it was namjoon's phone. namjoon took it, gladly, and turned it on, instantly being flooded by notifications of social media. his fans had only just been informed that he was alive, so they were all commenting get-well-soon's on his instagram photos and tweets. he also had lots of texts from friends and family.

he opened yoongi's contact , scrolling through the texts.

-

yoongi; hey namjoon

yoongi; you're not gonna see this because the police have your phone rn but idk its all I can do

yoongi; I miss you buddy

yoongi; I hope you're alive somewhere

yoongi; im not convinced that it was your body they found

yoongi; they couldn't identify it that well so I won't believe it

yoongi; I will never believe it

yoongi; I just miss you so much, it hurts.

yoongi; hobi's been trying to help me cope but its not working too well

yoongi; I cant watch up anymore because that movie reminds me too much of you

yoongi; not because you're old or a dog or something wow thats mean

yoongi; but because we're like carl and russell

yoongi; me being carl ofc bc im the old man in this friendship and you're the little wilderness boye 

yoongi; anyway, you probably dont really care about this, im sure you're doing something much more important, wherever you are. 

yoongi; I love you joon

-

namjoon realised he was so preoccupied thinking about jin that he didn't even care about his best friend. he wouldn't try to communicate with yoongi. he barely spoke. he just stayed quite and laughed whenever his best friend did something stupid.

he instantly pressed call on yoongi's contact, putting the phone to his ear, jin raising an eyebrow.

"namjoon?" he heard yoongi speak as he answered.

"hey.." namjoon replied, "I just wanted to say that im sorry.."

"what? what for?" 

"for not talking to you.."

"it's okay, I get it if you dont want to talk." yoongi said.

"but im sorry for not even making an attempt to talk to you when you came to see me- and that goes for all the times.. and I promise that when I see you next I'll talk."

"you don't have to, joon, im fine if you're completely silent, even though it would be nice to talk. im just glad that you're even here at all.." the older boy's voice trailed off a little at the end of his sentence.

"im glad im here too."

"I love you, joon."

"I love you too yoongi."

"ill come and see you later, okay?"

"okay.. bye"