Dazed and Confused

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Walking out of the courthouse, Kate sighed as she closed the door behind her. Sitting down on the steps she put her hands in her face and began crying. Geez. Look at me. I'm such an idiot, she thought to herself sniffling. Feeling a warm hand on her shoulder, she looked up at Anthony who gave her a sympathetic smile and sat down next to her on the steps of the courthouse. Handing her a cigarette she nodded and began taking a long drag before asking him, "Are you mad at me?"

"No. John on the other hand-"

"No shit. I know John is mad at me. He left."

"I mean looking at it from a different perspective, you two were broken up."

"Yeah. We were. I just feel like an ass because John always had a grudge with Dave."

"How come you never told him?"

"Would you tell Candy if you had sex with another person-"

"Oh hell no. She'd whoop my ass."

"That's my point."

"I don't think John wouldn't have gotten mad if you told him sooner. But now that you've been hanging around Dave, it's probably gonna make John question himself if your cheating on him."

"Yeah. Your right. Fuck. Shit. He's gonna breakup with me."

"Maybe. It's like ripping a bandaid off. You'll survive."

"We're still friends right? Even if he does breakup with me-"

"Kate. Why would we not be? Me, Chad, and Flea would still be friends with you. John would probably be friends with you-"

"John would probably like me to crawl in a ditch-"

"Kate. Shut your mouth. C'mon. Think about it. Johns a softie."

"Do you remember when you kissed me? And how mad he got at me? He didn't talk to me for a week."

"Fuck. I do remember that. Never mind. He might not be your friend."

"Shit. Thanks, Anthony. Way to make me feel better about myself."

"Hey! I'm just telling you how it's probably gonna be when you go home. Johns gonna be in a pissy mood. Or he might not even let you in the apartment."

"How would you feel if Candy had sex with someone else? And if you guys were taking a break?"

"I wouldn't care. That's her choice. But I would like her to tell me."

"Geez. Am I really an asshole?"

"I wouldn't say an asshole. I would say more of a jerk." Looking over at Anthony, Kate frowned and he laughed, "I'm just kidding! You looked so sad!" Stomping on her cigarette she sighed.

"Besides. We wouldn't be friends. We'd be best friends." Anthony said while smiling. She rested her head on his shoulder, looking at the cars passing by.

"My two favorites!" Candy yelled running out of the courthouse and sitting on the left side of Kate leaving her in the middle of the couple.

"How are you doing, baby?" Candy sighed running her fingers through Kate's hair as she began crying.

"Fuck. Candy I'm such an asshole."

"No your not. Stop it. You guys were broken up anyway. But I should've told you to tell John-"

"Wait. You knew about this?" Anthony interrupted looking at his girlfriend. Nodding her head yes Candy explained, "Yeah. I'm her best friend."

"No! I'm her best friend!" Anthony argued back. Soon the couple began fighting with each other as if Kate wasn't even sitting in the middle of them. Wrapping her arms around there shoulders she smiled, "Shut up! You both are my best friends!" She laughed when she heard Anthony mumble, 'I'm the better best friend.'

Wiping the tears that were leaking from her eyes she heard "Aw! Group hug!" Flea yelled running outside along with Chad as they all squeezed together. "This looks fucking stupid." Anthony mumbled pulling away first laughing at the weird stares they were getting. After bidding goodbye to Flea and Chad, Kate walked through the empty parking lot with Anthony and Candy. Her heart was beating more than it was when she thought she was going to prison. Johns gonna hate me. Fuck. I'm such an idiot. Thoughts were running through her mind at a thousand miles per hour. "Hey. You wanna get ice cream? To celebrate not going to prison?" Anthony asked while buckling his seat belt. In unison Candy and Kate exclaimed, "Hell Yeah."

"Oh boy. Here we are." Kate sighed stepping out of Anthony's van. Leaning against the window she smiled at the couple and said, "Thanks guys. I'll call you later if anything happens." Nodding his head Anthony replied, "Anytime. By the way, don't worry about finding a job. I told you I'd set you up with that decorating job." Nodding she made her way up the creaky stairs of the apartment. Opening the door she was surprised to find the apartment empty.

Walking throughout the empty rooms she sighed in relief but was also worried thinking, Where did John go? Is he coming back? I hope he isn't doing drugs. Fuck. Everything's my fault. I should've gone to prison. Meet some new people. Make some new friends. Learn some prison things. What am I thinking? What's gotten into me? God I'm such an asshole.

Seeing there was a message left on the phone she hit the button and sat on the bed hearing her fathers voice, "Katie-pie! I miss you! You should come down to the house sometime! I opened the pool in the backyard. Bring John! I liked John! Anyway, I just wanted to call to see how things were. Love you sweetie." Sighing she grabbed the phone and frantically dialed hoping her father would pick up. When she heard the phone click she stuttered, "D-Dad?"

"Katie-pie!" She heard her fathers voice exclaim from the other side of the line.

"I miss you...so much shit has happened."

"Are you okay? I got a missed call from Candy the other day...I tried calling her back but she never answered."

"I'm ok. I just screwed up big time. I hurt Johns feelings and I think he's gonna break up with me."

"Kate...I'm sorry. Johns a nice guy. I'm sure if you apologize and explain he'll forgive you."

"The problem is I should've explained and apologized a long time ago."

"Do you want me to call him? Clear the air?"

"No! Please. Don't. Sorry, it's just I don't know if he's even gonna come back to the apartment."

"I see. Your mother and I got into a huge argument when we were young. She didn't talk to me for a long time. Sometimes you have to just walk away and let everything sit. Then you sort things out in the future. You have to find yourself first."

"Your so wise, dad."

"Ah! Stop it! I get it from you. I gotta get going to work. Call me if you hear from John, hm? Love you."

"Love you." Hanging the phone up she smiled. Her father was the only person she could tell anything. Kate didn't have to worry about being judged, or backstabbed. She needed that phone call. She needed to visit her father. She missed him. Leaning back onto the bed she realized how much she needed to find out who she truly was. This whole time she's been running from her problems when she should be confronting them. Maybe I need to breakup with John. Have some time to myself, she thought to herself.

Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard the door knob jiggle. Hearing the door open and close she sat up and quickly walked out. John was hanging his jacket up. Turning around to see her, he looked surprised. They stared at each other for what seemed like forever. She didn't feel the tears streaming down her face.

"I-I'm Sorry, John. I should've told you sooner." Kate cried into her hands. Wiping her eyes she stared at him confused. John was staring back at her with no emotion. Walking towards her, she raised a brow as he backed her up onto the couch. Grabbing her face he violently kissed her lips and mumbled, "I need you."

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