Not Your Lover (2PARK✔️)

prelude

The angsty sequel to Not Your Boyfriend has officially started!

Lonely by our beautiful Jonghyun, featuring the equally incredible Taeyeon

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The letter comes on a Tuesday in October. The call came two days before, when the ninth month was still setting, and the leaves were still green. The call. Filled with an old friend and his tears. This letter. Filled with an old friend and our loss.

The first thing I'm handed when I step back onto the solid ground of my home should not be the invitation to one of my best friend's funeral services. It shouldn't even be a pamphlet for where I can get the best fried chicken in Seoul. It should be another hand to welcome me back after months of absence. A friendly smile and a kiss from the love I left behind.

But this greeter is less welcoming, and far less than prepared to give me a kiss of longing and distance. Instead, Kim Jaehwan bows his head in greeting and passes me the crisp, white envelope with my formal invitation. "Welcome home," he says quietly, ushering me towards the airport's baggage claim. "Have you brought many bags?"

"There's just one," I say quietly, not having planned on staying long. This trip is for just one person, and that person's promise to die before they had to see me again. "You said over the phone that a hotel was arranged for my stay?"

He fakes a smile at that, scratching at the back of his neck nervously. We head down a flight of stairs and stop walking when we reach a long, empty conveyor belt labeled with my flight number. "Admittedly, that was a lie. You'll be staying with me at my apartment, but don't worry, I've had my office made up for you, so you can at least be comfortable."

I hum, watching as the luggage from my flight begins circulating the conveyor belt in front of us. "My bag is a plain black duffel, but it's got a bright blue tag across the broken strap so I can find it." He nods to me, keeping his eyes on each bag as it passes us, until we both reach forward to pull my own from the track.

"Please, let me carry it." He smiles down at me kindly, but I don't want him to carry it. In fact, I very much want to suffer through the pain of dragging the strapless bag across the airport, the weight knocking into my thigh. But I let him have it anyway. "I've parked the car in the parking garage, so follow me."

As he turns away, I catch sight of the gauze bandage along his jawline, successfully hiding all nine of his stitches. My stomach churns as news reels play in my mind's eye, the brutality of what Jaehwan had gone through since the death bringing bile to the back of my throat. "Does that hurt much?" I ask, pointing to the bandage slowly.

He glances over at me, his round cheeks rising in another fake smile. "Not really, it would hurt more if it wasn't rightfully deserved."

Of course you didn't deserve that, I think to myself. "He shouldn't have hit you," I say slowly, gauging his reaction. It wasn't your fault his son died, I add in my head.

"I shouldn't have been driving," he says even slower, glancing at me with his honey-brown eyes. His hair has become shaggier since we last saw one another, hiding the natural glint behind his eyes easily. I'm glad for that. I'm scared to see them directly, only to find that that glint has disappeared.

"That still doesn't give him any right to take a clipboard and-"

"Please, let's not talk about it. He and I have already discussed everything, and we've both decided that our faults are our own. We've both apologized for what we've done, and we've moved on." He fidgets with the torn strap on my bag as we move into a cement parking garage, the sun blocked out behind all the cars. "I'm on the second level, please follow me."

"Have you..." I swallow my nerves and speak up to my old friend, trying to catch his gaze as he quickens his pace. "Have you spoken to him?"

"Lover boy?" His sarcastic quip hurts, though it shouldn't. It shouldn't hurt to hear something that isn't true. "No, I called him twice, but he's ignored both my calls. I don't exactly blame him, of course. He never did warm up to me."

I scratch at the back of my neck, flashes of dark eyes and chapped lips clouding over for a moment. I blink back my thoughts just as the image of ruddy, damp cheeks prods at my heartstrings. "Jihoon never really did warm up to anybody," I say quietly, scuffing the soles of my shoes against the cement beneath me. "Sometimes I wonder if he even warmed up to me-"

"Maybe if you hadn't been such a moron and let him warm up..." His words die between us when he realizes my pace has slowed considerably and my gaze has drifted away. "Woojin, honestly. I still don't understand why you bothered lying to him all that time."

I shrug in response, my answer not good enough to pass my dry lips and hit the cold air around me. "Let's just go, okay?" He nods, leading me around a curved incline to reach the second level, his black Cadillac resting alone only a few spaces from us. "You got to keep the car?" I ask carefully, eyeing the back seat nervously. The back seat where my friend rested and used the last of his breaths up.

Jaehwan coughs, shaking his head a moment later as he pops the trunk with a hidden key fob, dropping my duffel inside. "I uh, I actually got a replacement." He slams the trunk shut, the sound echoing like a gunshot in this cement block of a garage. I feel my spine stiffen in a flinch, and Jaehwan cringes at me over the car's roof as he unlocks the doors. "I couldn't stand to drive the boss around in that other car. I don't think he could stand sitting in it either."

I feel my throat grow tighter as I pull the passenger door open and slide myself in, the leather beneath me stiff like any new recliner would be. Jaehwan starts the car, his movements slow and calculated as he pulls us out of the parking space. I can tell he's tense behind the wheel now, but he makes an attempt to speak casually as we begin slowly descending through the garage.

"You're sitting in the front seat," he points out, staring straight ahead as the exit comes into sight.

I shift in place, nodding more to myself than anything. "I don't want old memories to control the rest of my life," I say quietly, biting back the sigh that begs to escape.

He hums, switching the radio on rather than adding more to the conversation. I'm sure he doesn't want to talk about it as much as I don't. Some pop song chimes into my ears, and I try to focus all my energy on just listening to the lyrics. It's easier to waste my thoughts on something like pointless words rather than dwelling on the plague this trip has already become.

"Don't tell me this is for today,
And don't tell me it'll stay tomorrow.
Just let me live in it right now,
And try not to breathe too deeply."

I feel my eyebrows draw together at the cryptic lyrics, wondering how such an uptempo song can be so dark. "What group is this?" I ask, turning the volume up slightly to try and pick up one of the voices. I don't recognize any of them, until a familiar deep voice starts rapping.

"Pushing us apart 'cause we can't make the day,
And pulling us back so we can't get away.
It was you, not me really, only ever you,
The one who told me that love was always true.
I didn't ever ask and I didn't ever lie,
But you kept pulling until we couldn't even try.
I shouldn't have been hurt when I didn't even know,
So why did you break me when you said you had to go."

Jaehwan glances at me, his hands tightening around the steering wheel. "Have you completely ignored everything in the last few months? I figured... I figured if you paid attention to anything, it would have been his debut-"

"Who's debut?" I ask doubtfully, though that voice is unmistakable. I've heard it even in my darkest moments. It's the voice that runs my mind now.

"Jihoon," Jaehwan says quietly, licking his lips nervously. "He's one of the rappers," he adds, slowing to a stop at a traffic light. Turning slightly in his seat, he grimaces at me before speaking again. "I thought you'd at least care enough to pay that much attention to your supposed biggest heart break."

My stomach churns, the lyrics overlapping with Jaehwan's words and hitting me in a suffocating wave. Welcome home, Park Woojin.

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