Not Your Lover (2PARK✔️)

Step Twenty: Singing

Here, have a happy song for a happy birthday! "La La" always hypes me up, and will remain my queen until Winner keels over and dies... or until the next time I listen to their song "I'm Him" lmao 

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The first Friday of November brings Next5 and it's backup dancers onto a new stage, a fan-event in Daejeon that only fits all eleven of us for half the event. I pretend I'm not bitter as I sit with my fellow dancers behind a curtained wall for most of the time, tossing a rubber ball between Kijung and I. My hair, blonde now after giving in to the company's pleas of a specific image, feels dry as is tickles over my forehead.

"It's just not fair," I say for the twentieth time today. "I mean, I know we've already gone through this. We aren't the faces of the group. But we're still important enough to meet fans-"

"Well not all of us have fansites," Daewon says jokingly, his voice soft today to keep from interrupting the event just around the curtain. "You've got your own fandom now."

I roll my eyes at that, hating that I don't exactly have them because of my own doing. "Euijin's had a following since forever," I point out. "Have you seen his Instagram?"

Daewon shrugs at that, his voice dropping to a grumble to hide his annoyance. "He's been a soloist since before any of us could walk. But he's not that famous, I'm barely behind him."

"Compared to Jin Ye and I, you guys have plenty of followers." Soeun wanders in from a side hall, her hair freshly chopped and back to its original black. "I don't see why you're complaining about popularity anyway," she continues on, falling onto the ground beside me. I shuffle myself away, careful to throw the ball back to Kijung without knocking my fist against her lip. "You do know you aren't actually an idol, right?"

I shrug, catching the ball as it's lobbed back to me. "I do, and I know that my job here isn't permanent. But what I can't understand is why the rest of you don't get the recognition you deserve."

Soeun nudges at my shin with her sneakered foot, chuckling to herself. After apologizing profusely yesterday about her annoyingly childish joke, she's been careful to treat me like an old friend. It's strange to say the least, but I prefer it to her either coming onto me or making fun of my presumably feminine lifestyle.

"How do you even know anything about our Instagrams? Last I checked, you don't even have one." Her now chin-length hair bobs about as she stretches her hands above her head, stifling a yawn. "Do you Google us or something?"

I nod without much hesitation, tossing Kijung the ball once again. "I kinda have to know who I'm working with. It's not hard to find any of you, really."

Jin Ye walks into the small space next, her earbuds in and her eyes on the floor. She doesn't even glance in Daewon's direction, tipping me off to another one of their fights. Daewon himself merely glances her way before going back to his discussion with Euijin, clearly not interested that she's returned from her long walk around.

"Hyung," Kijung calls out, annoyed that I haven't paid him enough attention and he's been poised to toss the ball back for too long now. I catch it quietly, Soeun shuffling away when Kijung's aim is a bit askew. "Hyung, we don't really care about our popularity. All of us joined our company to dance, and maybe debut with a troupe. But touring with our own idols isn't as bad as you make it out to be."

Euijin's mention of monthly pay, an apartment for free, and grocery allowances tickles the back of my mind. He mentions each benefit almost every time I bring up how the dancers around me are looked down on, and I hate to admit that within their own company, they get far more respect than I would have expected. It's just within the fanbase where appreciation falls short.