Not Your Lover (2PARK✔️)

Chapter Twenty-Five: Living

the final chapter to book two of this duology has arrived; the longest chapter of the whole 50+ series

song of the chapter; From Zero by Monsta X. this song has such an emotional presence with me, just as this story does. i hate seeing it end, but just as this song presses, there's always the chance for a new beginning.

.

A knock sounds at my bedroom door, almost going unheard over the rushing spring winds that rush through my open window. I glance back just as the door pushes open, a familiar face peeking in with a small smile. "Are you ready?"

I sigh, standing and following after the head of black hair. "Can't I just skip it today?"

"Not a chance," comes Jaehwan's quick reply, the glance over his shoulder shutting me up as we head down the home's main staircase. "I know today's special though, so Sungwoon and I can pick you up early if that makes it better."

"Sure, I guess." I scratch at my neck, an annoying tick that leaves behind rashes at times. "I just really don't want to sit in that annoying circle and talk with everyone today."

"What if one of them really needs you to speak? What if your words help someone?"

I shrug in response, sliding my house slippers off at the door and grabbing my usual sneakers. It's almost June now, and it's becoming too hot for socks and full shoes, but the subtle feeling of being uncomfortable somehow keeps me grounded when I talk about him. When I think about him. When I see him.

"Do you think we could visit him later on? Would that be bad?" The rubber band sitting on my wrist flicks as we step outside, Jaehwan's head twitching each time my skin is struck.

"It depends on how you feel after your session. You know how tired you get after group."

I nod again, sighing this time as my hands drop helplessly to my sides. Jaehwan leads the way towards his usual work car, and I slide into the front passenger seat when he holds the door open for me. I consider not pulling my seat belt over my chest, wondering if he'll scold me for being reckless. I click it into place quietly as he climbs into the driver's seat, deciding that angering him won't win me anything later.

The ride is short, and music fills the car to hide the lack of conversation. Lyrics I've heard over and over play in my ears, sinking into my chest with each forceful word that shouldn't hurt so bad after almost a year. It's still his voice, the only song he ever put out before leaving me behind, and I hate that it chases after me endlessly like this.

"Are they ever going to put out another song?" I ask bitterly, changing the station and shuffling in my seat.

"They've put out plenty of music," Jaehwan points out calmly, dialing the volume down as we pull into the office building's parking lot. "You're just not ready to hear it yet."

I nod, unhooking my seat belt from around me and heaving another loud sigh. "When will you pick me up?" I ask anxiously, staring straight through the windshield at the building. "I think three is a good time."

I can almost hear his eyes roll as he glances at the car's clock. "Woojin, your session starts at three. I'll pick you up at four, alright? I'll bring Sungwoon, and we'll spend the afternoon out of town. Sound good?"

I glance at my friend, his face thinner now after over a year of chasing after his daughter in his small apartment. I wonder if I stress him out, inadvertently causing his weight loss as of late. I don't ask, the answer scaring me no matter how it comes. "I'll see you at four," I say quietly, pushing the car door open and stepping out into the late May heat.