Hunger

t h i r t e e n

Week 2

I see him coming towards me, and I try my best not to blush, or smile. If I could fit myself inside my locker, I would immediately.

"Hey." He awkwardly says, trying not to laugh. "About Saturday."

"About Saturday." I repeat, knowing for a fact I was red.

"I don't remember much." He says staring at the floor. "But I do remember some kissing." He says smiling, and I look the other way to hide my face. "And your bed." He whispers.

"My bed." I say closing my eyes.

"Did we, actually..." He asks, but he was the red one now.

"Not exactly." I say biting my lip. "Christopher said he stopped us from that." I continue closing my locker. "I mean we both were pretty waisted."

"Tell me about it." He laughs and the bell rings.

"Well," I say walking next to him. "I'll see you around."

I enter first period still embarrassed for myself, but it went away when I saw Eva glaring at me.

I was glad lunch came quickly because I need to talk to my friends. When they hear about my almost first-time story they will for sure die. I see both sitting in our usual table, but both don't even bother to look at me.

"Guys I have to tell you so many things." I say grinning.

"What?" Eva say rolling her eyes and staring at her notebook. "That party everyone has been talking about?" She answers annoyed.

"The one you forgot to invite us to?" Jeremy proceeds, eating his pizza without bothering to look at me.

"What?" I ask confused. "Chris didn't invite you guys?" I ask staring at them.

"Are you listening to yourself." Eva says and finally looks at me. "Of course, he didn't, he doesn't talk to people like us."

"It's your house Katherine, did you actually forgot to ask both of your best and only friends to come?" Jer says throwing his food back on the plate. "Or where you to occupied hooking up with Nate?" He continues with disgust.

"I didn't hook up with him." I say feeling hurt by the way they were treating me.

"Don't deny it." Eva says exasperated. "Everyone saw the two of you making out in plane public. There are even pictures."

"What?" I say feeling like crying. "Guys but I texted the two of you!" I say taking my phone out. "I waited all night for you two to come."

I scroll through my messages but when I got to our chat, I saw that I never hit send.

"It was a mistake, I forgot to hit send. Look!"

"You probably just wrote that now." Jer says not even looking at the screen.

"Guys-

"Why are you even here?" They ask in unison. "Your boyfriend is sitting over there, with the jocks and clichés from this school." Says Jer, and it seemed like he was jealous. "I thought you were different, but I guess you were just another one of those girls pinning over the new boy."

"And remember," Says Eva staring at me. "The only reason you were invited to that party is because you literally live there, Christopher had no other choice but to let you be there. He didn't choose you to be his sister, probably it's not even proud about it."

I stare at both in disbelief. I stand up and leave, feeling the tears in my eyes. I quickly got to the bathroom, so no one could see me cry. I literally lost my two friends to a party. A party I didn't even want to attend but was obligated to.

My stomach growls and I remember I haven't eaten in more than 48 hours and suddenly I didn't feel so bad. At least I don't have food to add up to the reasons to be sad.

I get home and quickly run upstairs, wanting to be alone and maybe cry some more. It's probably temporary, right? They would be back to normal tomorrow like nothing happened. What Eva said though, hurt way too much, because it was true. Christopher is probably embarrassed of me too.

I see the scale next my dresser and I stand up, staring at it. How much weight did I lost without eating food in two days. I wonder, wanting to have a reason to be happy about myself.

136 lbs read the scale. That's three pounds in three days. I think smiling to myself. But I was still fat. Mom said that everyone was proud of her for being 101 pounds, so I need to be lower than that to make her happy, proud, jealous.

I lay in bed on my underwear debating whether to exercise today, but I just felt so weak and tired, worse of all; hungry.

I hear knocking but before I could say anything Christopher had open the door.

He sees me and turns around frowning. "That's what you do inside your room all alone?" He asks crossing his arm. "Lay in bed half naked?"

"You know," I say staring at the ceiling. "the point of knocking is waiting for the person to say come in."

"Dinner is ready." He replies turning back around.

"I'm not hungry." I lie looking back at him.

"You're not going to try?" He asks disappointed. "For your sister."

"Fine." I whisper, knowing I will regret it afterwards. "Now leave, I don't think is appropriate for me to eat dinner with the family in my underwear."

I sit in the table next to Liv. Christopher was sitting in front of me and Damien and mom were facing each other from the other side of the table.

When I saw the plate, I wanted to cry. Salmon was my favorite food, how was I supposed to avoid eating after not eating for two days and feeling extremely hungry.

Minutes go by and I keep staring at my food with a frown, when I felt a light kick on my left leg I look up and Chris was staring at me confuse.

Are you okay? He mouthed, and I nod grabbing the fork from the table. It took everything inside me to eat that bite, and I wanted to cry so badly afterwards.

What have I done? The hard work of two days just went down the drain. But, I already fuck up, so I might as well eat it all, right?

I finish and stare at the empty plate, feeling the tears wanting to escape my eyes.

"Excuse me." I quickly add standing up.

I didn't wait to be excused but I couldn't take it anymore. I cry up the stairs, feeling the food inside me. Why did I do that? Chris is right, I need some self-control, but with food.

"Katherine?" I hear him behind.

"What?" I say not turning around, I don't want him to see me cry again.

"Look at me."

"I need to finish my homework." I say quickly walking to my room.

He grabs my arm, and I turn around, quickly staring at the floor.

"I knew you hated my family," he says frowning. "but I didn't know it was enough to make you cry over spending a few minutes with us."

I stare at him confuse. "What?"

"I guess you loathe me just as much as I loathe."

"Christopher." I say, me being the one grabbing his arm. "Is not that." I say crying. "Let me explain."

"It's okay." He says pulling away. "I will make it easier for you." He said and went inside his room.