Twisted

Chapter 6- Meetings (49 days to go)

I had excused myself after a short conversation with Nathan so I could tidy myself up. It was past midday and I was still in my old pyjamas with my loose curls arranged poorly.

I don't know why, but a situation that should have mortified me, didn't. I actually quite enjoyed speaking to Nathan so much that I forgot about my attire. He seemed to make everything for me happier, nicer, easier.

That seemed to be my word, or more accurately, our word- easier.

I couldn't get him out of my head, his laugh, his eyes, everything about him. Just the small conversations we've had have left me disorientated and that's not exactly ideal, but I love it. I can't really describe it, but I do know that for some reason, he puts me in some sort of trance. A trance in which I'm lost to the world around me and all the evil in it. A trance in which I'm only happy and every other feeling is gone. A trance in which, I feel like a child again, yet oddly, I'm still myself.

I sighed, these emotions were surreal to me. Could they be love?

I dismissed the thought. I reminded myself of Pablo, what we had was love, it's the only love I've ever known, but I was sure it was love.

Yet this?

This did not feel the same, so I figured that it couldn't be love. The only other option was to admit that this was love and that what I felt for Pablo was not love and that I'd wasted three years of my life believing it was.

Yet the moment I thought of that, I knew I was right, I did not love Nathan, I loved Pablo, no one would be broken hearted for three years if it wasn't love.

Any romance book would tell you that.

Then I sighed, because this wasn't a romance book, this was life and life has a cruel way of changing everything.

For the safety of my sanity, I shook all thoughts of love from my head and focused on getting back downstairs.

I changed and dressed as quickly as I could so Nathan wouldn't be alone for long in case he had anything to ask, but when I got downstairs I noticed he would not be needing my support as Violetta was already speaking to him.

I quickly joined them and immediatley Violetta turned to me.

"Angie, I'm allowed to help right?" she asked looking at me sadly.

I had forgot to tell Nathan that Violetta used to help the old gardener.

"I forgot to ask." I said turning to face Nathan, "She used to help the old gardener and I know it means the world to her, you wouldn't mind would you?"

He shook his head, "Not a problem,I just wasn't sure if you'd approve of her helping me. I was just about to start the carnations."

Violetta smiled, "Great! I'll get a head start um..."

Violetta was waiting for his name and he looked at me unsure of what to tell her.

"German." I filled in.

Violetta nodded and quickly headed off.

German/Nathan stayed for a moment however.

"You sure you don't mind your daughter calling me German?"

I shook my head, "It's your name and I won't ignore that, for now I think Nathan's easier for me but she doesn't care, it's never really been an issue for her and she's not my daughter, she's his, German's."

Nathan nodded, "He gave her up?"

I nodded, "My sister, his wife, died on the way to my concert and he just gave her up and ran off like a coward. We didn't even know he'd left either, we went to his house after we got a call off Violetta. She was five for christs sake! She found a phone and accidentally called me. Her little voice came down the phone 'Mummy's gone' she cried, 'Now daddy too'. I went there and found him gone and her alone. The coward, I don't know where he is now, but frankly I don't care."

Nathan pulled me into his embrace, sometime throughout what I'd said tears had begun streaming down my face and I was shaking, yet Nathan was calming and held me tight.

It made no sense that I'd just told him all of that but I had and frankly I was glad I did.

"That coward is so below you. He doesn't have the honour of being the reason for your tears, so wipe them away and show how much better you are than him. You are so strong, don't let him break you, world's greatest Aunt."

Nathan spoke with such sincerity and I melted.

"He's so far below you, he doesn't deserve to be the dirt on your shoe."