Twisted

Chapter 19- Forgiveness (14 days to go)

"You're a really restless sleeper you know."

My eyes flickered open when I heard his voice.

"Morning." I moaned dropping my head back into the pillow.

"You're going to have to get up." he said laughing.

"Who said?" I replied tiredly.

I could sleep for the next year, my body ached and I had nothing to do until early afternoon, so I could afford a lie in.

"Life. It's midday."

I shot off the pillow and almost fell off the bed. Maybe I did have to get up.

"Midday?" I cried.

German laughed, "That was my reaction when I woke up ten minutes ago."

I slid off the bed reluctantly and sat along it's side on the floor in an attempt to wake myself. I was still in yesterdays clothes and in need of a shower. Desperately.

"Serves me right for not coming in until stupid o clock this morning. I've never handled late nights well."

"I've never done well with them either." said German laughing.

"Yeah, sorry for waking you up." I said tilting my head back to look at him.

"You didn't wake me up." said German naturally, "So nothing to be sorry for."

I sighed just thinking about my lack of sleep, "You were awake already?"

German let out a small laugh, "Yes."

I turned around to face him and he was looking at his hands, twiddling with his thumbs.

"How come?" I said, barely auidble, as I knew obviously it was because of something. Something important.

"I had things to think about." he said calmly, turning to face me, "Nothing to worry about."

Obviously it was, since it kept him up thinking about it.

"If I asked you what you were thinking about... would you hate me?" I said quietly.

"No, no." he said running his fingers through his hair, "I couldn't hate you."

I stayed silent.

"I was thinking about forgiveness. If my family could forgive me from walking out on them, when they needed me most."

I silently crawled back onto the bed.

"I really messed up you know. Do you think they'd forgive me?"

I took his hands in mine.

"I know I couldn't stay mad at you. How could they?" I said smiling.

"No. I think they'll hate me. For leaving and for betraying their trust." he said sadly.

"Give me an example of how serious it is. You don't have to tell me your actual issue, just its severity and then I can help." I said hoping to make it better.

"An example?"

He began to think. I could hear the cogs moving in his head. 

 I left him lost in his thoughts.

"Okay, let's say, someone led you to believed they love you and you adored them, yet they never cared. Could you forgive them?"

I stopped for a moment, my heart in my throat.

"Well I feel like you basically described Pablo and I." I sighed, "but...forgiveness?"

I stopped and held back tears.

"I almost forgave him, but I didn't because..."

German hung on my every word. I was struggling to speak. His issue must be serious, as the example was horrific. His example had me breaking.

"Because?" he added.

"Because of you."