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Do you know what it feels like to have your heart broken over and over again every single day? Because I do. It hurts so damn bad and all you want is for that pain to stop and it doesn't. I love Nari, I really do, but I can't take this pain anymore. It eats me alive, draining every ounce of happiness from my body. Everyday is a fight, an all out brawl with nothing but awful words being thrown around, breaking us both down until we're completely destroyed. I don't want to fight. I don't want to live this way, yet I can't find the strength to walk away.

Nari and I have been together for nearly a year now and as much as I love her, she's awful. From the constant lies, to her cheating on me, to her putting me down nearly everyday, it's never ending. The list goes on and on. I know I should leave, that it's toxic, but I can't help it. I love her even though she has broken me, mentally and emotionally.

My thoughts become interrupted as the bedroom door flings open and in comes Nari, a long over exaggerated sigh spilling from her lips. She always did this. It's as if she wanted me to know something was wrong and something always seems to be wrong. There was never a day she didn't have something to complain about. This is just how she was. "What's wrong?" I ask, raising my head to meet her gaze. Her gaze was cold. "I told you not to touch my side of the bed. I said I was gonna pick the stuff up, you didn't need to touch my things." She says, her words laced with a strong attitude.

I mentally sigh. "You said you'd clean it up a week ago. I figured I'd just do it so it would actually get done." I say, not even bothering to look at her as I spoke. She scoffed as she turned on her heels, heading for the door. Just as she went to leave the room I heard her mumble under her breath. "Idiot."

This was an everyday thing. There wasn't a day that went by that she didn't call me stupid, an idiot, and so on. Anything to put me down seemed to make her feel better. "I'm leaving, don't bother waiting up for me and don't bother me!" Nari yells from the other room then the front door slams shut. Reluctantly, I let out a breath I hadn't realized I had been holding in.

See, she's awful. Sometimes I feel like we aren't even in a relationship because of how coldly she treats me. I wouldn't doubt she was going to hang out with a bunch of men. It wouldn't be the first time she's cheated. Although she swore she wouldn't do it again that didn't help the fact that I was already scarred. The trust between us was completely broken now and it couldn't be fixed.

Just as I was wallowing in my sadness again, my phone buzzed catching my attention. I picked it up and instantly felt my mood brighten. It was a text from one of my closest friends, y/n. We had known each other since we were in the 2nd grade and we had been best friends ever since.

Y/N: Hey!! Are you down to hang today? It's been awhile (:

I instantly texted back an "Of course, be there in 10!" and jumped up to grab my shoes and car keys. There was no better way to brighten my mood then to hang with y/n. She was honestly one of the nicest people I had ever met and she never failed to cheer me up when I was in a bad mood. She knew all about Nari and how awful our relationship was and because of that, she hated Nari very much. All of my friends felt that way, which of course does not surprise me at all.
I shake the thought away as I head over to y/n's, excited to clear my mind and just have fun.

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When I arrive at Y/n's I knock on the door and wait. Usually I'd just walk in but it had been awhile and I felt a bit strange doing so. As the door opened, I was greeted with y/n's bright smiling face. It had been a couple of months since I had seen her because Nari always seemed to get mad when I came here to hang out, meaning I wasn't able to for awhile.
Y/n looked a bit different from the last time I had saw her.

"Hey, how are you?" Y/n asks as she throws her arms around me, engulfing me in a hug. Her grasp was so gentle yet so comforting at the same time. I was very touch deprived if you couldn't tell. Nari barely ever hugged or kissed me anymore so I hadn't felt affection in quite awhile.

"I've been better." I say and instantly y/n pulls back with a frown. "The bitch again?" I had to stop myself from laughing out loud. "She's just having a bad day." I say as if i'm trying to make an excuse for her being awful. I found myself doing that a lot lately.

"Yeah, every single day?" Y/n asks as she pulls me inside, shutting the door behind me. I sigh, slightly ignoring the words so I didn't have to answer. Y/n stared at me for a second before she changed the subject. "How is your work coming along?" She asked, a smile rising onto her lips.

"It's going great!" I say, happy that someone was finally interested in hearing about my work. Nari always refused to listen because she said it was boring and that she didn't care.

Yeah, that hurt.

"I'm glad to hear it! I'm so proud of you! I know you've wanted to do this for so long and I'm glad it's going well for you!" Y/n said, her eyes smiling just as hard as she was.

I felt a small twinge of pain in my chest. I had always wished Nari would care this much, or even just a little, but the sad reality is,

she never would.


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