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it hurt. being so close to something you longed for so strongly but not being able to have it. to have the one thing you craved be so close yet so far from your grasp all at once. god, how could you be so stupid? what the hell made you think it would be a good idea to fall in love with your best friend?
obviously he was attractive and obviously he was the sweetest guy ever, but there was more to it. he knew exactly how to make you laugh when you needed some cheering up, he knew exactly how to set your plate just the way you liked it, making sure the different foods didn't touch. he knew when you needed a comforting hug or if you needed to get out of the house for a little bit. he knew your favorite movies and your middle name and that one embarrassing story from high school that only he had the privilege of knowing. he wasn't just your friend. god, he was so close to being the love of your life. you felt that way at least, but you knew he'd only ever see you as a friend. after all, you'd been there through countless girlfriends and flings, getting all the savory details from tom himself. and while you put on a smile and gave him all of your attention, you found it growing more difficult each time to hide the ache you felt in your heart. he was not yours, and he never would be.
"darling," the familiar voice called out, soft and gentle, familiar. home. "where are you, love?"
"up here," you called, no longer phased by the endearing pet names. you knew there held no meaning behind those words, only friendly affection.
you heard the sound of boots thudding up the stairs and it wasn't long until your favorite human being stumbled into your room with a large grin. the familiar ache in your heart faded momentarily as you swooned at the man. his hair was messy as always, still holding the soft curls you adored. you watched with a gentle smile as he casually strolled towards your bed and flopped down on the soft mattress, letting a content sigh slip out from his lips.
"no shoes on the bed," you remind him, a soft chuckle released soon after as he shifts his position so his feet dangle off the side of your bed.
"what are you doing?" he hums, gazing all around the room. you redecorated again, something you tended to do every other week. you liked to change things up a bit at times, it made you feel in control of things. this he knew.
"trying to figure out what to wear for tonight," you hummed, shifting through the pile of clothing resting on the sheets.
"what's tonight?"
"i have a date..."
"date??" his head suddenly shot up to look at you with wide eyes. on your lips was a sheepish smile and your shoulders gave him a shrug.
"yeah, umm.. z set me up with someone, she thinks it's time for me to get back out on the dating scene." tom's eyebrows furrowed.
"zendaya..." he muttered under his breath before sitting up in bed. "well who's the lucky guy?"
