Chapter 30

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Chapter 30 

When Jade woke the following morning, she wanted to close her eyes and go back to sleep. The pounding against her head, dry mouth and no recollection of how Marco ended up sleeping next to her was enough to tell her she didn't want to deal with the day. She closed her eyes for a few minutes when she felt the bed dip and the sounds of Marco moving around her room.

"You going to get up or keep pretending you're asleep." Jade opened her eyes at the harsh tone of his voice and grimaced when she saw the look on his face.

Hard lines etched his face and disapproving eyes met her. They seemed to look into her empty soul, trying to find a glimmer of who she used to be.

"If you are going to lecture me, get out. I don't want to listen." With a great effort, she pushed herself into a sitting up position, so she wasn't lying down and looking up into his hard face.

"Do you have any idea how stupid your actions were yesterday. Drinking is bad enough, but with your medication-" Marco shook his head. "-You could have killed yourself, Jade." Marco expected to see regret in her eyes, but all he saw was an empty soul with nothing left to lose.

"Be better than this." She shrugged her shoulders, and Marco cursed his brother to the high heaven for telling her about Taylor.

"If my brother came over instead, Jade. You think is easy on him? Do you think this is easy on any of us, Jade? We saw you die right before our eyes. I saw your chest stop moving, we saw the amount of blood that exited your body. You don't think that leaves a scar on a person, Jade? I have seen Marcus wake up in cold sweats. We both still dream about watching you die, Jade. We both love you, but you are acting like a child, everyone is trying to help you, and you keep pushing us away-"

"-Soon, Jade, you will push everyone too far, then who will you have?" Jade said nothing as the pounding in her head grew. Not from the alcohol, but the deep emotions she has been trying to bury since the day she woke up. 

"Maybe I don't want any of you around, because there is this never-ending pit inside of me. This darkness I wake up to every single day and one day I will explode. It going to be brutal and unforgiving and the fewer people around to witness the better." She closed her eyes and tipped her head back.

She didn't see herself having a future. Her future was a dark place, there was no light, no hope. Just never-ending darkness that was slowly growing inside of her. She didn't see the point in trying to get better because this was it for her. Her lifeline was ending and the moment her mind and body remembered would be the day the darkness consumes her.

So why bother.

She opened her eyes and saw Marco's eyes glisten with unshed tears. His face was one of a broken man and he just shook his head and walked over and put her into her chair without even asking her.

"I want to help Jade I do, but I can't stay around and watch you do this to yourself. I love you like a sister, I have already seen you die once and I can't do it again. We are just trying to help, so remember that when you yell at Marcus next time."  With that Marco left with a sad look on his face because he didn't want to leave Jade, but he didn't want to stay around and watch her explode because it would break him. Watching Jade die before his eyes left a deep-rooted scar inside of him. She was like a sister to him and seeing her like this broke him and he knew he couldn't stay around and watch her self implode. 

When she heard the front door close, she let herself cry. It hurt. God, it hurt so bad. The pain inside of her was worse than the physical pain her body endured every day. She felt her heartbreak, but she knew it was for the best. She knew that when her darkness finally took over there was one less person she had to worry about when she left this world, because if everyone hated her then they wouldn't feel so sad she left this world. 

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