❝Sure, whatever helps you sleep at night.❞
❝That would be you.❞
❝You're a smooth motherfucker, aren't you?❞
In which Nico desperately needs advice and finds a payphone, but he has nobody to call.
And then the payphone rings.
And Nico answers.
And ov...
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"Niffy?"
"Sike! It's me, bitch!"
"Oh, for fucks sake."
"Your affection is positively overwhelming."
"Who the hell even are you?"
"Shouldn't I be asking you that? You called me."
"Actually, I called a payphone. Not you specifically. I wouldn't intentionally do this to myself."
"You bruise my manly pride. Weird choice of communication, by the way. Don't you know what texting is? It's this amazing new thing where you can message each other directly. Without calling a sketchy payphone in the dead of night?"
"I know what texting is, it's just complicated. If you need to call someone, I can hang up. I'll call later. Is another girl there?"
"Unless she's a roguishly handsome male teenager standing in a payphone booth having phone sex with a pretty girl at one a.m., it's just you and me, baby!"
"We're not having phone sex! You're abominable."
"As Britney says: confidence is a must, cockiness is a plus."
"How would you even know if I'm pretty? I could be the female version of Chewbacca for all you know."
"You justsound pretty. And, for your information, Chewbacca is an absolute stud, I'd smash without hesitation. He doesn't deserve your hate."
"...and you sound like a weirdo. Funnily enough, I get the feeling I'm not far off. I'm hanging up, it wasn't particularly nice knowing you."
"But baby I'm addicted to you! Don't you know that you're toxic?"
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Chewbacca is adorable and needs to be protected at all costs idc.
