❝Sure, whatever helps you sleep at night.❞
❝That would be you.❞
❝You're a smooth motherfucker, aren't you?❞
In which Nico desperately needs advice and finds a payphone, but he has nobody to call.
And then the payphone rings.
And Nico answers.
And ov...
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"Chewie! I knew you'd call, I'm glad this has finally become a daily thing."
"Have you not moved since yesterday? Why are you still here?"
"Why did you call again if you weren't sure I'd be here?"
"...touché."
"So here's the thing, Chewie. I'm angry."
"Your point?"
"My ex slept with my English teacher."
"Well, holy frick, dude."
"It is indeed quite the holier of fricks."
"Was she your ex when it happened?"
"No, but she sure as hell is now."
"So she cheated on you."
"That is usually what having sex with someone who isn't your partner means, yes."
"Did either of them have a valid reason for doing it?"
"What could possibly be reason for someone to sleep with their boyfriends teacher?"
"I dunno, I mean you're a little douchey. Like maybe a two, on a scale of three minus one."
"That's two out of two. That's maximum douche."
"I'm well aware."
"But I was a damn good boyfriend and student to the both of them!"
"You were your teacher's boyfriend? That's messed up, dude."
"I— what?"
"Have you tried talking to them? It might not even be true. Communication is key, y'know. If you can't get through to them by talking it out like mature people, then they aren't worth the effort."
"...wow."
"What?"
"Nothing... that was just really good advice. I didn't think about actually talking to them about it."
"Glad to be of service for something I sure as hell didn't sign up for."
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idk if yall saw the gif (jif?) at the beginning but that video has me cry IN G
