September 5, 2015
"Oh no!" said the man in TV, "It seems that the crime rates in Gotham are rising! Is the Caped Crusader to blame for this? Has his duties only made criminals adapt to this? I mean, the Batman has been a 'Force of Justice'... Have they made some sort of 'Force of Chaos'? We have some random celebrities from the MCU, the world's largest and only Comic Book Studio Company, in the world! I know I said world twice... But that's how big it is... So just role with it... You there! Wearing sunglasses and drinking champagne from that wine glass! Mr. Downey! Haha... Sounds like a laundry soa-... I mean... What are you thoughts on the topic?" "Well..." said Robert Downey Jr., "I'm uh... just saying... Uh.... This Bat Guy... I think he's a joke... I believe he's just trying to copy my character from... uh... the Marvel Movies... Uh... Iron Man.... Well here's the thing... I think he's just a coward... F*ck the wannabe heroes out there... Marvel is to amazing and awesome, it's a studio worked by thousands of people that shows love into millions of fans around the world... You know... Just saying.... Because a rich man in a cybernetic armor is more realistic than... What? Some guy with a batsuit? Just saying... It's just... sad... It feels like he's trying to copy me... I don't like him and I don't want anything to do with him... I even think he's just some sort of, myth or whatever... Because our heroes here in Marvel... Is in fact.. Earth's Mightiest Heroes..." "Thank you, Mr. Sta-.. I mean Downey..." said the news anchor in TV, "Now.. Let's see the opinions of the people on the Batman's side... You there! Random 9-year-old! You're probably a fan of the Batman! What are your thoughts?!" "I like Batman because he can fly... And he wrestles sharks on his underwear.. I saw that in the news... and.. he slaps sharks... All people that are just like... uh... me... are his fans!" said the 9-year-old. "You heard it here first, folks. All of the Batman's fans are 9-year-olds!" yelled the man on TV. Bruce is shown in the sofa, face palming in embarrassment, covering his face. "Holy Guacamole! At least Iron Man thinks you're just a myth!" said Jason, watching beside him.
Later that day..
"Yes!" said Jason, buying a DVD in the DVD store of a Valiant Comic Movie from the Valiant Comic Extended Universe, or the VCEU, "I finally have a copy of the Blu Ray release of Ninjak v. Bloodshot: Dawn of Unity (2014). It's a good thing that Bruce lent me 10, 000 dollars as an allowance for today! I can buy ANYTHING!!!" Jason is about to pay for it as he suddenly stop for some reason. "Hey!" said Jason, seeing another kid holding a Marvel Comic movie, The Avengers (2012), "You look like a kid in the 21st century who still buys DVD's of Comic Book movies! Question, what are your thoughts on this movie?" "Pft.... VC?" said the kid, "For your information, that movie's trash... 27% in Rotten Tomatoes? Really? Buy The Avengers. Marvel... Pure gold..." "Well..." said Robin, "For your information, VC is still awesome... The comics are still nice... And their animated movies, Television Shows, and video games are master pieces! You don't have the right to say that!" "But their movie universe is trash..." said the boy. "So let me get this straight..." said Jason, "Despite the animated masterpieces such as Ninjak v. XO.... The Lego Ninjak Movie, The Death of Bloodshot, or video game masterpieces such as Divided, Divided 2, and Television masterpieces such as XO Manowar and Timewalker, VC Comics suck, just because of the Cinematic Universe being not as good as the Marvel Cinematic Universe?" The boy nods. "I think that's pretty petty for the majority of the fans to think that...." said Jason, "I mean I understand criticisms, but that's just petty..." "Whatever... It's how the world is..." the boy then pays for the DVD and walks away. Jason gets a call from his phone, "Yes Batma-... I mean... Mr. Wayne?" answered Jason, very awkwardly, "Oh! I just got the DVD for the Ninjak v.-..." "SHUT THE F*CK UP, BOY WITH YOUR TRASH MOVIE! I NEED YOU HERE!!! STAT!!!" yelled Bruce in the phone, "PEOPLE ARE SHARING MY VIDEO!!! WE NEED TO FIND A WAY TO STOP THIS SHIT!!! ROBIN! TO THE BATCAVE!!! SHUT THE F*CK UP SJW64 NO ONE GIVES A SHIT ABOUT YOUR FEMIN-..." Jason hangs up.
YOU ARE READING
DCAbatman Part I: The Batman: The Dark Knight
FanfictionMy version of the caped crusader. I mean, have you seen the DCEU? Now have you seen the MCU? Now, compare the two... Yep... That's right... Option number two is better... So why wouldn't DC just accept their weakness and become a bit more satirical...
