DCAbatman Part I: The Batman: The Dark Knight

Chapter IX: Bruce and Rachel

January 30, 2016

Bruce, annoyed: "Oh. Hey."

Rachel: "Hey! Bruce!"

Bruce: "Hello, Thot."

Rachel: "Hi."

Bruce: "'Sup."

Rachel: "Hi!"

Bruce: "..."

Rachel: "..."

Bruce: "Right..."

Rachel: "So... I was just in the city! I didn't know you still lived here!"

Bruce: "Yeah! (Zooms out to Wayne Manor, the economic capital of Gotham) Why would I still be here?!" 

Rachel: "Well, have some dinner with me! Meet me at Gotham's Pike Hotel, 9:00 pm the closest one here!"

Bruce: "Sure."

Rachel tries to hug Bruce as he softly pushes her away.

Bruce: "Sorry! I'm, uh... I got-..."

Bruce looks inside his house and sees a poster of Harry Potter.

Bruce: "Hairy Pottu...Itis."

Rachel: "Hairy Pottuitis?"

Bruce: "Hairy Pottuitis!"

Rachel: "What's it about?"

Bruce: "It's when your Pottu, becomes hairy, and it starts to... hurt... because it's so.. Hairy..."

Rachel: "What's a pottu?"

Bruce: "It gives your body, pottu, juice."

Rachel: "Pottu Juice?"

Bruce: "Pottu juice! The fluid that gives you... Oxygen?"

Rachel: "(Oxygen?) Oh! Blood!"

Bruce: "Y-yeah. Sure!"

Rachel: "Is 'pottu' from another language?"

Bruce: "Y-...Yes."

Rachel: "What language?"

Bruce, looking inside and seeing a poster that says 'You're a Loser': "Yualusa."

Rachel: "???"

Bruce, seeing a picture that says, 'Suck my Dick, y'all fags.': "From... Sugmadikye'alfags."

Rachel: "..."

Bruce: "..."

Rachel, smiling: "Sounds Scandinavian!"

Bruce: "Sure. Let's go with that."

Rachel: "Uh huh... Okay, See ya later!"

Bruce closes the door.

Bruce: "Where the hell are Jason and Alfred?"

Meanwhile, in the Kitchen...

Alfred, holding a small fruit: "Okay, now eat this, Master Jason."

Jason: "What does it taste like, Alfred?"

Alfred: "I have no idea, sir!"

Jason: "Where'd you find it?"

Alfred: "At the garden hanging from an inconspicuous-looking tree."

Jason: "Seems legit."

Jason eats the fruit. Jason then has a seizure and falls to the ground.

Alfred: "Goodness! Are you alright? More importantly, what does it taste like?"

Jason: "It tastes like, burning...."