Justajoo

~Chapter 9~

• If you want to know where your heart is, look where your mind goes when it wanders! •

• • • • • • • •

The monsoons had begun, casting its spell on nature, the sweet soil intoxicating the earth with its fragrance. On this chill windy night, standing in front of floor length window, he was lost wondering 'What is happening? ' He was jerked out from his thought when he felt a pair of arms hugging him from behind.

"Rey", Sara called him moving her hands sensually on his torso.

"I love you!" her words made him sigh as he placed his hand on hers. Sara broke the hug and pulled him towards the bed with a smile on her face. Her actions were loud enough to tell him what she wanted but he just could not!

"Sa.. ra", he shuttered her name consciously. She moved forward and hugged him tightly but he didn't had the courage to respond to it. She looked at him and aimed at his lips. She was about to kiss him but before that he distanced her by placing his hands on her shoulder and pulled himself free gently. She looked baffled at his actions as he closed his eyes taking steps backward.

"Rey?" her eyes questioned him as he turned and sat down on the bed holding his head in his hands.

"Sara I had a long day and..." he started with his usual excuses only to see her turn and walk away. Sigh! 

It had been 2 months since Kriya walked out of his life and he still feels as if it was yesterday only when he dropped her at the train station. He just could not get her out of his mind at all and that kiss, that dori which he still haven't removed, that last look... affected him! In fact the whole past 4 months since she entered his life again, she had affected him badly! There wasn't a single second he thought of something else other than Kriya and their daughter. From the time Kriya had left him, he was restless, he felt there were things left undone. His feelings were unsettling him big time and he just couldn't point out why? He felt as if Kriya took a part of him with herself!


He got up when he saw Sara coming out of washroom, her eyes red indicating she had cried. 


"What is it Rey? I come near you and you just back off. Yo.. you.. "her voice broke as tears trickled down her cheeks. He cursed himself when he saw her crying but he himself did not know what was going on, he just couldn't gather himself, his heart refused to believe that Kriya had left him and it was Sara about whom he should think.


"I don't know Sara? I can't explain?".  She looked confused at his statement and shook her head.


"If you've got cold feet about getting married tell me now!", she asked straightforwardly, the question she dreaded to ask because somewhere she knew its answer. He turned away from her unbuttoning his shirt.


"Sara I don't know...maybe I am not ready!" he mumbled avoiding looking at her. She glared at him with tears in her eyes. After 3 year of their relationship, he was shutting her out and she could not understand why, since the time she came back to India, he was distant whenever she reached for him...he pushed her away.


"Rey....Please talk to me!" she pleaded him.


"What should I say Sara, I myself don't know what it is.... I'm tired of trying, but I just cannot get over it ", he replied frustratedly looking at her.


"You met someone?" her voice hit him hard as he looked away from her. He felt her hand on his shoulder as she pushed him to face her but he looked away.  


"Rey?" he looked at her and sighed ... maybe telling her everything will help?! 


He held her hand, sat her down on the bed and himself kneeled infront of her. 


"Sara hear me out..." He started explaining the situation to her, how he met Kriya, how he wanted to save Avni and how Kriya was desperate about her child. He explained it all looking at her stern face not blinking.  


"Where is she now?" she asked when he stopped.  


"I don't know Sara and ", she saw his facial expression sadden when he confessed he lost Kriya. 


"Get some sleep Rey...we'll talk in morning! ".  He looked to see her putting the covers on the bed, he expected her to scream and shout at him, but nothing of that sort happened.   


"We'll discuss this all in the morning.... I think its enough for today... Get some sleep" , saying so she pulled him with her to bed, her face still held no emotions. As he got into the bed, she snuggled up to him how she normally does and closed her eyes. Letting out a heavy sigh he stared at the ceiling...  





* * *




Turning over he felt nothing besides him and opened his eyes. She was gone. He got up and walked downstairs tying his robe. She was there in the kitchen cooking, he looked at her puzzled. 


"Why did you keep this from me?" she asked seeing him when she saw him pulling out a stool and looking at her as she kneed the dough.  


"I was scared initially....but then I needed to do this as she was my daughter..." He replied thinking about the whole situation. He looked at her as she rolled out the pastry with the rolling pin. 


"I guess my love is not as strong as I thought that's why you were scared and couldn't confide in me", he sighed listening to her.