Stay for Me (Hold Me Close Prequel)

Chapter Twenty One: Pianissimo

Heads up. If you uh, have a problem with...sigh. How do I say this without giving the story away. Well it's not yiff, so pull your pants up. Eh fuck it. There's a weeeee bit of self harm in here. Well, a lot of it. So if this isn't really your cup of tea...then idk what to really tell you.

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-=Evan=-

The rest of the ride back to my house was very quiet. I tried to hold back my emotions, and to be honest I have no idea how I did. I just faced away and tried to subtly wipe away the three tears that fell down my face. I got out of the car without saying a word and walked inside. It was Wednesday, so my father was grumbling to the news because the booze was gone.

I softly closed the door and tip-toed my way upstairs so that he wouldn't hear me. But I guess I wasn't quite quiet enough.

"Evan get in here." My father growled. "Jesus fuck did you get your ass beat up again?!" He asked me, noticing some of the cuts in the low light, but it wasn't nearly bright enough for him to see the rest of it.

"I-I couldn't fight back. I tried, but there were too many of them." I quickly stammered out.

"You mean you quit." He grumbled.

"N-no, I tried." I said. Clearly this wasn't going to end up well, seeing as he was already bubbling up in anger. I guess my answer to that thought came in the form of a fist. A fist into my jaw. I didn't bother to react other than the slight flinch. No snarky response, no anger, and there was no way in hell I was going to give him the satisfaction of crying or begging for mercy. I just lowered my eyes, which may not seem like a lot, but in wolf-culture showing any sign of submission is a very large deal. I mean, never mind the fact that they are super picky in the bedroom as a bottom because-I'm getting off topic.

"Go to your fucking room. Lock yourself in there. And if I see you again tonight you better pray to God the thing next to me isn't something sharp. Or blunt." He smirked, shoving his forearm into my gut, causing me to double over. I took that as my cue and left the room.

I made it into my bedroom about twenty seconds later and I sat on my bed, putting my paws on the mattress below me. I more or less marinated on today. The names. The beatings. The hatred. And worst of all Hunter. I knew it wasn't his fault, and that only made it worse. I blankly stared at the light, cloudy blue color of my walls, not really here, but instead lost in the endless void of my thoughts.

I decided that maybe it was best if I tried to get my mind off of everything, so I pulled out my phone and started to aimlessly flip through social media like a typical teenager. But that wasn't a decent idea either, because after a few minutes I started noticing that what I thought was a quiet event behind the school had turned out to be a raging inferno of gossip. I'll spare the details, but it was crammed packed full of...colorful swears and...other things. And for the first time since I got home, I started to cry.

The tears fell softly at first, but progressively got stronger and stronger until my sorrow was transformed into rage. Anger, fury, and fear. By now I was screaming into my pillow, releasing all of the pent up emotions in my system the only way I knew how.

Ever since I was a little pup I've had the tendency to bottle up my feelings, unable to truly express them to anyone. And while it helped me keep my cool in most conditions, it was only temporary, and when the cap finally burst, then dear lord was it not a pretty sight. Slowly numbness began to creep along my body again. But this was a different kind of numbness.

I had felt this same kind of feeling before, and I knew what it meant, even if I absolutely hated myself for it every time it happened. No matter how hard I resisted the urges, temptation always overcame me. It just felt...empowering in a way. Even though it doesn't seem like it should, me reminding myself that I am still the one who is actually controlling my life would help me make it through until at least the next day.