Bound To Love You (Sanctuaryo del Grasya Series #1)

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XX.

Blame

Hindi ko alam kung papaano ko pa rin napapanatili ang composure ko sa party na ito despite what's happening around me. I did my very best to be okay all throughout to hide what I'm really feeling inside.

Hindi ko pwedeng ipahiya ang sarili ko dito. Not in this place. I'm smiling but deep inside I want to burst like a volcano because of so much jealousy. I don't know what to think anymore.

Kiara is currently on the dance floor, dancing with some random dude she just met. May nag aya din sa akin kanina but I kindly declined.

I don't feel like dancing. I don't feel like accepting a stranger's invitation at all. Hindi iyon magugustuhan ni Primo pag nalaman niya. Mahirap na at baka makita niya pa 'yon pag nagkataon. Ayoko na ulit kaming mag away sa mga mababaw na dahilan.

Paano niya makikita e mukhang busy siya kay Tati? My negative conscience said. My heart clenched bitterly but I disregarded the thought immediately.

Ayoko na mag isip ng kung ano ano. I don't want to let myself consume negativity. Nope. I won't allow it. Pinagkakatiwalaan ko siya 'diba? I will only believe what my boyfriend tells me.

He's still innocent until proven guilty. So far, wala pa naman concrete evidence na may ginagawa nga siya behind my back.

I wasn't able to eat properly earlier because of overthinking. Babawi na lang ako ng kain mamaya sa bahay kung makaramdam ako ng gutom.

"Uy, ilang lalaki na ang nag aaya sa'yo pero ayaw mo pa ding sumayaw. Come on! Let's enjoy this party kahit na ayoko sa may birthday!"

I snapped my head back up when I heard Kiara's giggling voice in front of me, making me come back to my lost senses. Napansin kong nasa tabi niya ang lalaking kasayaw. May itsura ito at mukhang mayaman din.

Pero mukha ding playboy. I thought.

Tama nga ako dahil ng magtama ang tingin namin ng lalaking kasama niya ay binigyan ako nito ng isang malanding ngiti at kinindatan pa. Hindi iyon napansin ng kaibigan ko dahil nasa likuran niya ito banda.

I cringed mentally. Tss. Boys.

I slowly shook my head and gave a disapproving smile. "Ayoko talaga. Ikaw na lang. Ayos lang ako dito.."

Kiara pursed her lips and crossed her arms above her chest like a kid. "Hmp! You're no fun, babe. Pero okay, fine! Hintayin mo lang ako dito. Uwi na din tayo maya maya.."

Tumango lang ako. Mabuti naman dahil ayoko na din magtagal pa dito. I just want to go home.

Umalis ulit si Kiara pagkatapos uminom ng tubig while holding the random dude's hand and went to the dancefloor again. I can clearly see that she's enjoying herself. Good for her kahit na ayaw ko sa kasama niya.

I finally decided to roam my eyes again to look for Primo but there's no sight of him, even his family. Pinilit kong huwag siya tignan kanina habang nasa table siya kasama si Tati. Hindi ko na kaya.

Pinilit kong mag bulag bulagan at magbingi bingihan na kanina kahit na rinig na rinig ko ang iilang kumento ng mga bisita na malapit sa kinauupuan ko and kept myself busy watching the performances on stage earlier from different people.

Pero kahit na nalibang ako kanina kahit papaano sa galing ng mga nagtanghal ay lumilipad pa din ang isip ko. Nasa ibang dimensyon ito. I can't seem to concentrate.

My mind is all over the place. I kept my composure on the outside but I wasn't able to do that on the inside, unfortunately. Ang hirap pala. Akala ko madali lang i-block off yun kahit pansamantala sa isip ko pero ang hirap.