I know if I dared utter even a single syllable of those unnecessary words right now Olivia would literally rip my head clean off my neck.
She's been in labour for what's going on nineteen hours now and I actually can't believe what women have to go through.
The screams coming from her in the past hour are enough to make any man's blood run cold, a guttural cry from the depths of her chest that sound far more animal than human.
I've done everything I can think of to comfort her. Breathing exercises, ice, massages, cold towels, even singing to her at one point. Everything is wrong, and she's looking at me like she truely despises me from the bottom of her heart.
I think her mum is getting a little kick out of it to be honest, her lips rolling into her lips to stop her smile creeping further when Liv hollers that she hates me for doing this to her and my face drops in pain and confusion.
They warned me, the books, my friends, our parents, that she was going to feel like this towards me but I just thought, "They don't know us."
Fuck me, was I wrong.
At one point, I started getting angry back at her for her unwarranted meanness but the nurse looked at me like "boy, I wouldn't do that if I were you," and I pulled my head in pretty quick.
A doctor comes in and talks in what could be a different language but from the look of panic on Liv's face and the commotion that all of sudden happens, I'm guessing this is it... our baby is coming.
Angela kisses Liv on the forehead quickly and wishes us good luck as she leaves to go sit with the rest of our family in the waiting room.
I'm standing on the other side of the room, up against the wall, where Liv last instructed me to stand, telling me to get the fuck away from her and not to move a muscle.
At first I laughed, but she was so deadly serious I couldn't help but obey her a with real concern for my balls if I didn't.
"HARRY!" She screams for me in desperation, fear lining her words and tears springing to her eyes as I rush to her side, her arms open for me as she grabs onto mine.
"I'm sorry, Harry! I've changed my mind, I don't want a baby anymore!" she rushes irrationally, tugging on my arms to help her and I try so hard not to smile at how cute she is despite the fact she had turned into the devil for the past few hours.
"Baby, you can do this, you're so strong, strongest person I've ever known. I love you so much," I tell her as quickly as possible before the doctor starts sternly giving her instructions.
"I want the drugs, I want the drugs, now!" she yells and I can't do anything but look up expectantly at the doctor between her legs.
"Olivia, your baby is coming now, it's too late for that, love," she tells her calmly but the grip on my hand causes me to panic.
Fuck! What the fuck am I meant to do!
"s'okay," I say quickly, pushing the hair out of her face and trying to get her to focus. "s'okay, darling, you've got this." But the look of terror on her face is one I might never forget.
The next thirty minutes are a blur, time seems to stand still as my wife pushes our baby into the world, the craziest, most spectacular thing I have ever witnessed with my own two eyes.
With one final push Liv slumps back on to the bed, her face so red and flushed, her hair wet with sweat and her body more spent than I've ever seen it. She has given everything and she was incredible.
"Congratulations! You have a healthy, baby girl," the doctor says and Liv and I both look up from our haze in confusion.
A girl?
We had convinced ourselves we were having a boy, not wanting to know for sure as a surprise, but we were so certain. We don't even have a girls name picked out.
Before I have time to think, the nurse puts her on Liv's chest and it's like my world gets sucked into a vortex. A black tunnel, where only these two humans exist in the light at the end.
It's then I realise, that nothing could have prepared me for this moment.
My wife, the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, has tears streaming down her face despite her complete and utter fatigue, and cooing softly at the little girl on her skin.
"Oh my god," I breathe in disbelief. That's our daughter.
No words can describe the instant tidal wave of love that hits you when you see your child for the first time and I know instantly that nothing will ever be more important than her.
Nothing.
I don't know when I started crying, but I am, and I struggle to compose myself long enough to push a kiss into Liv's forehead before I kiss our tiny little girl for the first time.
I would move mountains for her, kill for her, die to protect her.
Liv once warned me that I would love our children more than I love her and I hate to say it, but she's right.
I've never loved anything more in my whole life.
But, coming in a human hair width behind her, is the perfect woman lying beside me who gave me this gift and the life I've always dreamt of.
After all the heartache and pain, this right here, was worth it.
"Do you have a name?" I hear the nurse ask and it's like someone whispers the answer to me before I can't even comprehend the question.
"What about Emma?" I ask Liv cautiously and see her tears start to fall quicker before she tilts her head up and kisses me hard on the mouth.
"Emma Styles."
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A/N:
ARGHHHHH
i mean.. this picture hurts my ovaries..
Ok, SO the song at the wedding..
well, if you go back to the secret santa chapter (part 1 chapter 29), Liv says they were dancing to 80s pop all night so i initially imagined it to be "I wanna dance with somebody" by Whitney Houston
BUT if im being completely honest it was "Bennie and the jets" by Elton John which i KNOW is 70s but this is what I listened to on repeat while writing it.
Also loved the suggestions of it being "best song ever!"
