New & Improved --> Rants & Discussion

A Mental Health Awareness Rant

This is not football related, but today has broken my heart.

I'm going to talk about a singer of a band I have loved since I was 15 (i have a weird taste in music okie). But his name was Kyle Pavone. Now before I was a footie girl, Kyle was basically my Ben Woodburn, Sergio Ramos, you know what I mean.

Today, his band announced that he died at 28. twenty fucking eight. That is way too young! I can't process this still. I've cried knowing that someone I looked up to and whose music got me through so much shit had to be taken so early. No one has said anything about the cause of death yet, but I can guess and have seen speculations that it was suicide. I wish this was just a sick joke, but I keep seeing more and more.

Despite being loved by his friends and family, Kyle did appear to have up and down mental health. Despite loving his band for about four years, myself and the rest of the fans didn't know until about November of last year that he been struggling.

He wrote a song about his troubles. The song meant so much to me, because it made me realize that I wasn't the only one struggling through something shitty. Now it has such a deeper meaning that breaks my heart so much. A week ago he tweeted the lyrics "Will i be remembered or will I be lost in loving eyes?" from that song and I questioned it. The worse thing was that his brother was tweeting about how he wish he knew what his struggle was (before he died) and how he wanted to help.

My point: no matter how many times someone famous or semi-famous dies, mental health issues are way overlooked. Some people may seem like they don't want to be helped or don't show clearly that they need it. Sometimes quiet is violent. You never know what could be going through someone's head. I just wish people paid attention more to when someone they care about is struggling. People talk so much about physical health, but mental health is a growing issue that needs to be helped.

It just upsets me that some people don't get the help they need because of monetary issues, because therapist/psychologists etc are fucking expensive, or that they're ashamed of going. Too many people take their lives at such a young age these days. No one deserves to suffer so much and resort to ending their life over it. Everyone should have the proper guidance to getting themselves better. No one should ever have the feeling to fight their battles alone.

But part of society is so judgmental of mental issues. They think people who are depressed, clinically anxious, bipolar, etc. are crazy. This is a huge reason why people don't want to speak up about something as serious as depression. There could be a part of your life that is still really good, but you can feel like shit. It's okay to struggle, because it's a normal part of life. Sometimes, it's just more extreme.

I am not afraid to say that I am one of these people. I have had on and off mental issues for 6 years now. I have had plenty more down days than good days. I don't know if I can open up to someone at my university or at home about what I feel. I have a lot of trust issues from the amount of times I have been hurt. I have been to a psychologist, a therapist, and am starting to go to counseling services at my school. It is a huge struggle sometimes to get my mental health back up. I get easily triggered and cry a lot over small things. I feel really alone at times and that everyone I know would be better off without me, but other days I'm okay. The thing is, I am trying to get help. I want to be better.

I wish going to a therapist or psychologist or whatever didn't have to cost so much money. Why should these kinds of people charge so much for wanting to be helped? They say they want to help people, but why do they have to make their clients pay such a high price for wanting to be better? For wanting someone to fight out a battle that they can't do alone? It really upsets me.

I'm gonna repeat something that you may have heard before, but please, really check on your loved ones and friends. If they seem off when they say they're okay, don't let that slide. Hell, they could act like they're such a happy and goofy person (how Kyle was) and they can easily hide something in their eyes. Talk to them. See what is going on, even if you have to push for it. They could be hiding something very deep that they're afraid to talk about. Let that person know that you're there for them. Let them know that you want them to get better. Help them get help! It's so sad that one of the leading causes in death in teens and young adults is suicide.

I've been meaning to post something about mental health, but Kyle's death finally pushed me.

Rest in peace, Kyle. Thank you for making music that got me through some really shitty times ❤️