Yours Truly, Louis- Larry AU

49. Tumble

THIS IS NOT THE LAST CHAPTER!

Louis

If you thought that the next few days would be easy for me, you're wrong, dead wrong. Day one I spent locked away in my bedroom, refusing to go outside. I shut off my phone to stop myself from being tempted to call him. I didn't want to call him. I didn't want to crawl back into that state of having to rely on someone all the time. I was independent before all of this happened, I made my own decisions and now here I was sobbing over something that I did, it was horrible.

I had my regrets, I had papers flown around my room, letters and journal entries that I had written out my feelings onto over the course of three months. I had sulked and crinkled the already messy writing on the papers, getting them damp with my tears.

I was only to blame myself and the guilt of everything was gnawing at my brain. I couldn't focus without feeling nauseous, everything needed a constant distraction, so that's where Eleanor came in. I was sitting on my bed eating Fruit Loops, watching Adventure Time on my laptop when Eleanor herself waltzed in. Her hair ran over her should, natural and curly just like Tina's was. She had on leggings and a ManU tee, personally, she was the absolute last person I wanted to see at the moment and I made a mental note to strangle Tina over it later.

I tried to talk but my throat was dry and I honestly couldn't force the words out of my mouth even if I tried.

"How've you been?" She asked, taking a seat on my bed without asking.

I just shrugged, not meeting her gaze, I wanted to push her right off the goddamned bed. It wasn't like this was any of her fault, it was my fault, Eleanor was only involved in this mess because I made the decision to sign the contract. Even if I hadn't signed that contract, management would've found some way to screw our relationship up, it really wasn't meant to be.

"C'mon, bud, you've gotta talk at some point, Tina says you haven't been talking, not even to her," Eleanor sighed, smiling weakly at me, patting my knee, only to have me flinch away.

I scoffed, "and she thought I'd talk to you?"

Eleanor chuckled and I have her a confused glance, "we're talking right now, so let's get straight to the point, you're so fucking sad now and it's frustrating, Louis, cheer up, how're you gonna cheer up?"

"I want Harry," I pouted, tucking my legs up to my chest, burying my nose in between my knees.

"You can have Harry, Louis, you broke up with him, remember?" Eleanor rose an eyebrow. God, I wanted nothing more than to punch her in the face.

"Thanks, Captain-Fucking-Obvious," I grumbled, closing my eyes, feeling my chin wobble.

Not now, I was not going to cry in front of her, no, never in a million years. I felt the painful lump growing in my throat, I didn't want to share these feelings with someone who never gave a sh.it in the first place. Eleanor only wanted me to weep and cry and be venerable and I wasn't going to give her what she wanted.

"I really am sorry, Louis, if any of this was my fault, I just... I don't know what I can do to make it up to you," she frowned, looking down, looking ridiculously ashamed.

It made guilt take over my mind once again and I found myself shaking my head sympathetically for someone other than myself for once, "it wasn't your fault."

She gave me this look - this signature look that I knew all too well, the look that read, 'I don't believe you.'

And maybe this was her way of trying to wring some information out of me, but it didn't matter because I gave in anyways, "it really wasn't your fault, I swear. I just... It's difficult to explain, I feel like I'm going to explode. I signed that goddamn contract with Modest! and honestly you were just doing a job, I brought all of this upon myself trying to do anything to keep my relationship alive, not even realizing that I was pushing it all down the drain slowly in the process."