Last Ones Standing | Kim Namjoon

Epilogue

The faint floral scent drifted to my nose as I inhaled deeply, appreciating the small joys of what remaining life we had. The white lilies were arranged into a small bouquet, paired with slim green leaves to add some contrast.

I lowered myself and placed my knees on the dirt, holding the bouquet to my chest.

"Hey..." I spoke in a low voice.

"I managed to get a hold of these beautiful lilies somehow" I looked down with a small smile. "They were hard to collect... but Jungkook helped me. He even added these pretty leaves" I nudged at one of them. "...because he said you would like them"

"I tried to make him come with me, but he wouldn't budge" frowning, I shifted my gaze to the tiny teddy bear sitting ahead of me, its black button eyes staring at me blankly. "I guess he still hasn't forgiven himself. He's been depressed ever since you-"

I paused and sighed.

"Sometimes when I look into his eyes... he reminds me of my old self. He has so much ... hatred for himself that it breaks my heart. But I guess it's too soon to talk to him properly. That much was to be expected after everything that happened"

"I told him it was going to be alright. Which is funny, coming from me. 3 months ago no one would've thought I would ever say those 4 words together." I chuckled.

"Going to be alright" Mumbling the words to myself again, I shook my head.

"But the thing is... I don't know if it's going to be alright"

"But forget about that" I shook my head again, placing the flowers beside the makeshift gravestone. It wasn't really a gravestone as it consisted of a large wooden piece fitted into the ground with a thinner one fitted right side towards the top to imitate the cross sign, courtesy of Yoongi. Around it was a thick red scarf that once belonged to my very friend, placed by Jimin who had found it in her room. The teddy bear was a gift from Taehyung, one of its arms holding a pink Pandora bracelet, collected by Namjoon. I had put a small glass bird that I had also found in her room. There was no special meaning behind it other than me remembering her small adoration of birds.

"You went through a lot. And you did well."

"I hope you're looking over us from up there" I raised my head to stare at the vast, seemingly empty blue sky. It almost seemed like a normal day if you tried not to think about anything. "I hope Jungkook returns to his normal self again and I hope the rest of us make it through safely"

I spoke, liking to think of these words as what Somi would have said if she had a chance to say good bye.

Sitting back, I pulled my knees to my chest and took a deep breath before closing my eyes.

"I hope you rest in peace"

Somi.

---

We have been though a lot.

This isn't the world we wished to live in or the pain we wished to suffer.

Nothing about this world gives me a reason to live.

Except one;

My lover and my friends.

They need me as much as I need them.

And even though I tried not to get close to anyone. They managed to break the walls I had built up throughout my life.

I learned that I couldn't survive alone.

Without them, I wouldn't be here. Without them, I wouldn't have experienced the small amount of happiness that I experience now.

And even though I would never admit that to anyone aloud. I'm glad they were here for me.