The Prince's Secret (Prince Harry Fanfic)

Part 10 - Chasing My Tail

Harry

What the hell was I thinking?

Seriously.

I was engaged. My wedding, complete with live media coverage, was already being planned. In less than two weeks I should be having a happy holiday at Sandringham with my family.

Should be. But my fiancée began a hint campaign, even after I explained to her that it was pretty much a "no ring, no bring" rule at family gatherings like this. Hell, even Catherine didn't get an invite before she was married, and she and Will lived together for years.

The last time we had tea with my gran, Meg was laying it on pretty thick about being alone over the holidays and having nowhere to go, and how her family was so distant. Gran didn't say anything at the time, but later she told me that she felt sorry for Meg and wanted her to come join us at Sandringham.

My gran was not a pushover, but she was exceedingly polite, and I knew she was trying to make sure Meg felt welcome in our family.

I couldn't tell my gran that I was hoping for a week or so alone to sort out my thoughts and perhaps have a private chat with Will, but now that would be impossible unless I could get a few moments alone with him while we were off shooting. If I even went out on the shoot—Meg was pretty much against it. And fox hunting too. What was next, polo?

The more I thought about the holidays and the future, the grimmer I got.

I felt like the walls were closing in, like I was being slowly herded somewhere I wasn't sure I wanted to go. And I knew that the blame was mostly on me. I didn't have to propose, even though everyone expected it. I could have broken up with Meg and started over again as a single guy.

At the time, I thought it would take me years to find someone else I was comfortable with. I didn't realize it might be only a matter of weeks—days, really—before I met someone who piqued my interest.

Which circled me back around to my current dilemma...Now what?

And I could honestly say at this point, I didn't know. I knew that the longer I let things continue with Meg, the harder it would be to jump off the moving train that was barreling towards my wedding and eventual marriage. But there was so much to consider...not just my feelings, and Meg's, but of everyone in my family. My gran. My granddad, who took no shit and would not hesitate to tell me exactly how he was feeling about my conduct and my plans for the future. My father.

"You have to think about who you are...you have a duty to this country and to your family to do the right thing. And it won't necessarily be what Harry wants."

I didn't even know what Harry wanted.

That's...not entirely true.

I did know one thing that I wanted.

I wanted to get to know Samantha better. Crazy, blonde-haired, outspoken Sam, who smelled of hay and horses, not high-end perfume and designer clothes. Sam, who would be comfortable galloping across the countryside with me and spending the evening next to a roaring fire in hand-knit socks, sipping brandy and laughing.

Who said it had to be something romantic? Maybe we could just be friends. There was nothing wrong with a guy having a female friend, was there? I had lots of friends who were women. Of course, most of them were married or in relationships, not single.

Wait—did I even know that Samantha was single? I never really asked. I just assumed...

And why did it matter to me? If she wasn't single, then it was safer to have her as a friend. That would quell the rumors a bit.

Why was I even worrying about rumors when I didn't even know her that well? When I'd only spoken to her for about 15 minutes in total?

Why was I chasing my tail over this woman? Why didn't I just take her up on her offer and meet her for a beer?

Meg wouldn't like it.

Well, you know what? Meg didn't own me. And I had a right to have friends, and to spend time with those friends.

And to do what I damn well pleased.