The Pain of Loss

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            Autumn was never really one for the spotlight. He went to school, did his work, and volunteered wherever there were kids. Though sometimes he overworked himself, but that was beside the point. He is now getting thrust back into the spotlight, and he couldn't want it any less. Everyone is asking about his cousin's death, if he wants to give an interview, and he hates it. He wants them to stop and go away. He wants to grieve. Though no one in the public will let him, so he locked himself away in his home. He didn't go to school. He didn't talk to anyone.  It was unfair. Out of everything, everyone in Safe Haven, it had to be his cousin. His family. His phone would buzz with messages from his friends, siblings, and others. He only paid attention to the information about his cousin's funeral. He intends to go, it would be disrespectful not to. Before then though, he can't have people constantly reminding him. They ask him about how he found the body, and how he felt. They just wanted a story. They don't care about Camilla. They don't really care that she's gone. They just want some story to tell the masses. As Autumn just stared at the ceiling, lying on his bed, a loud knocking emanated from his front door. He tried to ignore it, but it got more insistent. It got more rapid and loud to the point he couldn't block it out. He couldn't take it anymore. He heads to the door, anger overcoming him and as soon as he opened the door, he didn't care who was there. He just shouted all he was feeling. "I don't want to talk about it, I don't want to tell anyone anything! You don't care about her! Just leave me alone!"

Little did he know that he just yelled at Rusty. A dog who had been pestering him and is known about the school as a troublemaker. Not like Damian though. Rusty was known to be more hurtful. Not today though. Today he stood there, no insults, no vulgar words, just a card in his hand. He held it up to Autumn. "Ya know those brats ya babysit at the orphanage? They wanted to give you this, but you didn't come by." He just held the letter to Autumn.

Autumn was surprised, and just felt even worse now. "I'm sorry I... I've just..." Autumn attempted to find the words, but just began to cry. He just bottled everything up, and just exploded at Rusty.

Rusty just held the envelope to him. "You don't deserve this. She didn't deserve what she got."

Autumn slowly took the envelope. "Do you want to come in?" He wiped his tears, trying to keep them back.

Rusty slowly walks in, and just hugs him. No punches thrown, no anger, just a hug. Autumn couldn't hold back and just broke down sobbing. "C'mon Autumn. Just let it out." For once, Rusty's voice was calming. Like he cared for what happened. Like he cared how Autumn felt.

Autumn just cried into Rusty's chest. He had cried before, of course he had cried. His own cousin was killed. Now felt different though. Like he was letting himself truly grieve for the loss. Like it finally clicked with him. His cousin was gone. Gone for good. All that could come from Autumn's mouth is a question. "Why her? Why'd she have to die?"

Rusty didn't truly know what to say. He never thought about it before. "I don't know Autumn. There are some sick people out there, even within the barriers."

To Autumn, that explanation didn't feel good enough. "But why her?! Camilla didn't do everything right, but she was family! I loved her like a sister Rusty!" Tears poured down his face.

"Well what do you want me to say doe boy?! I didn't kill her. I don't know why the fuck the killer did this!" Rusty just blurted out. He knew it was wrong, but he wasn't going to take this sitting down.

"I just want an answer! I just want... the reason." Autumn just kept crying.

All Rusty could do was hug Autumn. "I know. But the reason isn't gonna make us feel better Autumn. They could've done this for no reason for all we know." Autumn only nodded in response, trying to put a stop to his crying. It was then he realized how lethargic he felt. He hadn't slept easy ever since he found the body. The images were still fresh in his head. His cousin, hanging from a telephone pole, dead and all tied up. Autumn always saw her when he closed his eyes. Though Rusty wouldn't take no for an answer, seeing as how Autumn almost just passed out in his arms. He sighed and sat on the couch with the other, letting him lie down. Though it was on his lap. Usually Rusty would make a gay joke, but this isn't the time. He just did his best to comfort Autumn as he slowly lulled into sleep. "I will never let this fucker hurt anyone else. Even you doe boy." Rusty sighed as he sat back. Looks like he was going to be there a while 

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