𝘼𝘿𝙄𝙕𝙕𝙇𝙀🥂

Suicide 💔

I breathed out slowly as my hands shook like crazy.

The ringing continued making me even more nervous.

After the 5th ring he picked up.

"Hey babe! I was just about to call you and say I'm on my way. " he said happily . I couldn't help but smile.

"A-Adam...you shouldn't come." I chocked out feeling myself grow nauseous.

"Why? We were supposed to go out for lunch."
He asked in a confused tone.

I just sat there for a second, everything coming down at once. This was really what I wanted?

No it was what I needed.

"Y/n...baby are you okay?" His voice laced with worry.
"I-......Adam I can't d-do this." I sighed lightly sobbing. "I really can't...I don't want to."

The line went silent for no longer than 3 seconds.

"Y/n...w-what do you mean you can't do this? the fuck goin on?" He asked his voice raising slightly making me quiver.

I stayed silent...until I fully built the courage to say what I was going to next.

"Life." I breathed out.
"I-I-I can't feel anymore...I don't want to.
Everything hurts, physically and mentally. Ive tried so hard to hold on and wait for things to get better but I'm tired...nothings getting better..I'm fucking tired Adam.Life is nothing but heartache an pain and- and suffering."

"I feel like I'm underwater....I scream cause I find out I'm drowning but...no one can hear me. I keep screaming and yet no one will help me....I-I'm h-hopeless...gasping for air...I realize I'm alone..done for..and suddenly I become weak..so I just give up...not even wanted to come up anymore..
I just want to be numb. I hate this...feeling weak ...worthless...stupid...ugly....fucked up...unwanted! But...I don't know what else to feel.
And this worst part is....when I need help , when I needed comfort..love, a friend? No fuckin body was there...NO ONE!"

"Do you know what it feels like to feel so alone that you feel like the world has turned against you .. y-your on your own. But hey whenever someone needed me I was there...I would smile in everyone's face like I was happy..was I ? You guys would never know...you never asked . Just assumed my smile was so so genuine.." I scoffed laughing lightly. Not out of joy but at the fact that it was all coming to now.

"All the bullshit...all of It. So many tears I've cried for people who never loved me...they loved my fuckin misery. But it's okay...cause I'm done, don't with all this shit bro. I finally k-know what it feels like, I have no reason to live..I'm not wanted here. So why don't I disappear like everyone wants me too. I have nothing ..n-no one."

But it's okay

I'm okay .

"Everyone will be happy right ?" I laughed tears and snot running red puffy face, matching my eyes as the phone line was silent but then a heard sobbing in the distance. Like he had dropped his phone.

"Y-Y/n...please..l-let me be here now. I'm so sorry! I should have payed attention more..I feel beyond horrible for letting this get this bad. But please don't do this shit to me..i cannot afford to loose you bro..n-no." he sobbed as i sigh.

"please she c-calm down..an wait for me to
come so we can talk. Please baby i'm like 2 minutes away. I love you way too much to let this shit take you away from me. I'm sorry for everything you've been going through, i'm s-sorr-bae fuhreal bro nah.."

"I'm sorry to Adam. I'm sorry I put my all into this relationship just to have to end it so early. You were my first love..first time..first everything. Thank you for loving me unconditionally when you had the chance..caring for me the way you use to...and most importantly, showing me what it is to have so much love for some that ..you have such a hard time loving yourself. All the hurt was worth it I guess...I got you after all right..the love of my life...I really hope the next one does you well..goodbye Adam."
I croaked feeling myself become empty of all the hurt and anger I had left inside me.

"Y/N STOP IT ! STOP!" He screamed horribly sobbing as well.

"I gotta go baby-I love you." I whispered before ending the call silencing the sobs from the other side of the line.

I dropped my phone turning back to the pills that sat on the counter. I huffed as my shaky pale hand reached for the bottle.

This is it...this is how I'll go

but I'm better off...

In a better life..

CLIFFHANGER BITCH HAHAHA!☺️