The White Exorcist (a Blue Exorcist fanfic)

Ch. 24: Three Words

I slowly opened my eyes. The first thing I saw was Rin's head laying on the bed, his shoulders shook as he sobbed his eyes out. I smiled, my eyes watering as I weakly reached over to touch his head.

"Why're you crying, Okumura?" I said, my voice hoarse.

Rin's head instantly shot up, his eyes- teary and red- went wide in shock. "Air!" He breathed. "Oh my God, Air. Oh my God..." His voice cracked.

"Lucifer doesn't play around, Rin." I said with a faint laugh. "I feel like I'm about to break into pieces."

But I couldn't fake this. I couldn't pretend like this was a joke and I couldn't pretend that I didn't miss the shit out of Rin. Because I did. Tears ran down my face. "Rin." I choked, straining to lift up my arms. "Please hold me?" I never thought a person could sound so pathetic until now but I didn't care. I wanted Rin's warmth so badly.

Tears rolling down his cheeks, Rin instantly came and hugged me tightly to his body. "I hate you..." He said crying as he buried his face in my hair. "I hate you so much. You promised me you would never..." He trailed off into a sob.

"I'm so sorry Rin." I cried, shaking like a leaf in his arms. My trembling hand stroked his navy blue hair. "I'll never do it again. Ever. I'm happy that I get to feel you again. I'm so happy..." My voice shook just as much as my body was.

The thing is... any time either of us cried, it was one or the other. I've cried a lot, and Rin has always been there to comfort me. Rin cried the first time I met him at Shiro's funeral, and I comforted him then. But until now, we've never cried at the same time. Right now we're both wailing, sobbing, hyperventilating, shaking... but that's what we're both here for. We're comforting each other.

But I've only seen Rin cry once. He was always been the one who never cried while I was the one who always cried. But seeing him throw his composure out the window like this and actually crying this hard... it made me realize how much he's suffered. And how much I screwed up.

"I'm happy you're alive." He whispered.

"I'm happy I'm alive too."

Suzuki walked in and smiled at us. "Looks like you're finally awake. Had me worried. Rin, could you please put Air down?"

Rin squeezed me harder. "Don't wanna." He murmured.

Suzuki gave light laugh. "I understand, but the thing is that Air is probably in a hell of a lot of pain."

Rin looked down at me and I gave a small nod. "Why didn't you say anything if I was hurting you?" He asked, setting me down and crawling off the bed.

I shrugged. "I... don't know..."

"I ran tests." Suzuki said. "My healing magic wouldnt work, medical treatment wouldn't work, and its gonna take you a lot longer than usual for your healing ability to actually start healing you. Taking into consideration that you took on Lucifer all on your own, you're gonna be immobile for a while. So Rin, you're gonna need to treat her delicately like an expensive and highly breakable vase."

It was true. When Rin came up and hugged me my entire body started to sting and ache painfully, I just wanted to ignore it.

Suddenly Haru came rushing through the door.

"Only one person in here at a time, Haru." Suzuki said. "I was just about to leave to give Air a little privacy."

"It's okay, Haruki, I'll let you two talk." Rin said and left the room with Suzuki.

Once they closed the door Haru walked over to my bed angrily.

"If you weren't paralyzed right now, I would slap the shit out of you." He growled, balling his fists. "I thought I fucking told you! I told you dying for others is stupid! There's nothing heroic about that! You're such a... you're such a... dumbass!"