Chapter 12 // Josh

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"Am I dreaming?"

I raise my head when I see the girl - Leah is her name - in front of me. Her cheeks are soaking wet with tears of pure happiness, and behind her her mother has her hand on her shoulder. I smile brightly at the scene.

"Josh Dun, Tyler Joseph and Jenna Bla- I mean Joseph, whoops." Leah bites her nails. "You can't be real."

It's been half an hour since we arrived to her house. It took Leah a while to let that sink in, so after telling us to get comfortable in her living room, she ran to her mother's room and cried so hard we heard every single sniff she made. Then, her mother came out in a robe to receive us and of told us a backstory we already knew: about how the crew had visited them and how they promised to help the family financially. After that, she offered us something to eat. Jenna and I politely refused, but Tyler began eating without saying a word. He's still eating, even with Leah here.

"Surprise." Jenna says, her cheeks turning pale red. "It's so good to finally meet you. Oh, and sorry for you loss."

"How did you find us?" Leah snaps, but then she shakes her head. "That's a stupid question. I'm sorry; the thing is that I believed your crew would be the closest thing I would ever be to you guys."

Her mom pats her shoulder and slowly backs away, leaving us with her daughter. I'm surprised she trusts us, but then I remember the crew's visit and the fact that her daughter is a fan of our band.

 In fact, she's one of the hardcore fans. She wears one of the Blurryface shirts Hot Topic sells, and in her wrist I see a tattoo of the band's logo. And even though it's late, she wear smoky red eyeshadow, similar to my makeup in Ride. I cringe a little.

"Sorry if my presentation is a little bit shocking." Leah sits on an armchair in front of us.

"I think is nice." Tyler says with his mouth full. I turn around to face him and give him a thumbs-up. 

Leah smiles, cheeks red. "Jeez, you guys are here. Even with this whole situation. Just to see me." She realizes what she just said and cover her lips with her wrist. "What makes you think I deserve this?"

"Leah, we know what you're going through." I find the courage to say, my own anxiety kicking in. "We thought it would be a good idea to help you by giving you some moral support. You couldn't see us live, and that broke our hearts too."

I bite my lip. Leah blinks fast and faces Jenna this time. "So, you brought Tyler here to sing? I thought he was-" She stops talking and swallows hard. "You know."

"Not necessarily sing." Jenna points out. "I mean, I don't how to explain myself either."

I stare at Leah and notice something very odd and familiar in the way her eyes twitch every time she looks at Tyler. After a few seconds I understand what's going on.

She feel as guilty as I feel. And that's eating her up.

"I would like to apologize for what my father did to you guys." She smile sadly. "It was immature, and I swear that wasn't his intention. I'm responsible for this mess now."

"No, Leah, it isn't your fault." I rush the words out of my throat, my heart breaking in a million pieces. "Neither your father's. It was inevitable. But you shouldn't beat yourself up for this." 

Jenna glances at me, puzzled. Yes, I'm being an hypocrite, but what else can I say? 

Everyone is suddenly sad now, except Tyler. In fact, he has finished eating and now glances curiously at Leah. "Hey, I have a tattoo too. Look."

Innocently, he shows her his elbow tattoo and smiles. Leah chuckles and shows him her wrist.

"We are matching." Leah says shyly. 

"Do you like our music?"

"Of course I do!"

"Wanna play some songs?"

Leah smiles fades away, but she eventually takes out her phone and presses play on a playlist. Immediately, songs from the self-titled album begin playing and Tyler pinches his chin. We stay in silence, until out of nowhere Tyler begins singing. Real signing! It sounds exactly as if he remembered each song by heart, even with his amnesia. I exchange a look with Jenna, and Jenna exchanges one with Leah.

"Josh!" Tyler stops and looks at me. "Join me, dude."

"I don't know the songs in that album, bud." I choose each word carefully, since I'm too startled to even talk.

"Leah!" Tyler calls the girl and she does a little jump. "Join me."

Leah's face goes tomato-red, and I see she's fighting the urge to even mumble the lyrics. She looks at me, and all I do is tilt my head, to show her I understand her guilt; to show her she's not alone.

After hesitating, Leah raises her voice and joins Tyler. As the time passes, these two sing to the danceable Johnny Boy and to the melancholic Friend, Please. And, of course, they both know the lyrics perfectly. Seeing them happy makes me ecstatic, considering their lives just got ruined.

Jenna puts an arm around me and hugs me. "We did it."

"Yeah." I don't take my eyes away from the scene. "My master plan worked out perfectly."

Jenna laughs. Leah scrolls down another playlist, and this time songs from Vessel and Blurryface are mixed. When it plays Tear On My Heart Leah takes a break from singing and leaves Jenna to pair up with her husband for an emotional rollercoaster. I stay quiet, but smiling widely. And when I turn my head around, I find Leah staring at me.

"This is great." She seems more confident. "Thank you for coming, guys. You made me really happy tonight."

"This will be our little secret." I finger-gun her. "Alright?" 

She nods, and hesitates. But then, she fills herself with courage and leans over me to hug me. I hug her back.

"I'm scared, Josh." She sounds just a tad sad. "Scared and lonely, and your music has helped me so much. I was feeling guilty for what happened to my dad and Tyler and- Jeez, why am I telling you this?"

"It's alright, kiddo." I whisper. "It's alright. I'm a culprit too." 

She looks at me, puzzled. Then, I end up telling her everything as fast as I can: since our fight at the Starbucks until I found out his had lost his memory. When I finish, I have to catch my breath. 

"Wow." She says. "I'm sorry, Josh. I had no idea. Do you feel better after telling me? Because I do."

I nod, realizing what I just did. I don't feel bad, tho. I haven't told anyone the full-length story, so this was actually very relieving. Even if my listener was one of our fans.

"It's alright." She nudges me. "This will be our little secret."

I chuckle, feeling truly happy for the first time in a while. We realize Tyler and Jenna stopped singing and ended up kissing each other. When they finish, Jenna realizes we're both looking at them and she shakes her head.

"Shoot!" She brushes her hair with her hands. "It's late, we should probably go."

"Don't, please." Leah stands up and stops Jenna. "You can stay the night here."

"Sorry, Leah, but we live in another state, remember." Jenna hugs her. "We love you, girl. Stay strong. Oh, and tell your mother we love her too."

Jenna releases her and rushes to the door. I stand up too, and hug Leah. "Don't feel bad, Leah. We are here for you."

Leah nods, tears in her eyes. When I release her, it's now Tyler's turn. I curiously stare at him as he takes Leah's arms and puts her hands over his heart. What he says next gives me a bunch of shivers:

"Stay alive for me."


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