Chapter 14 // Tyler

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"We might need a vocal coach, you know."

I take a sip from the glass of water in my hands and nod when I see Josh's look of disapproval. He's sitting on the stool that faces his drums, his drumsticks resting on his side. For some reason I can't understand yet he is shirtless and sweaty, so his arm tattoo is completely visible and shiny under the lights.

"I don't understand why you take off your shirt every time you play the drums." Jenna hums quietly on one corner of the garage.

"I sweat a lot doing this activity," Josh says as a matter-of-fact. "so taking off my shirt is my only resource right now."

I pant and remove sweat from my forehead. I just sang my lungs out while trying to do an interpretation of Car Radio, but the scream part left me completely exhausted. My throat has never been this sore.

"Anyway, the point is Tyler has always had that raspy voice of his." Josh continues. "If he forces his voice again like that he's going to have a serious problem when we restart the band."

"You didn't like it?" I  ask him, hugging the ukulele I didn't use at all in this song (but still took to the garage with me). "You did pretty well, tho. You should feel proud about that."

Josh presses a hand to his forehead and lowers his head, but I hear a chuckle leave his lips.

"I mean, yeah, it was fun." He sighs. "I haven't done this in a long time. I missed us."

Jenna heads towards me and pats my shoulder. "You did pretty well, hun. Don't listen to Josh."

Josh snorts and takes a drumstick between his hands. "I care about Tyler's voice too."

I can't barely talk without pain so I just sigh and smile. I love these two so much.

"So," I whisper. "what now? When are we going back to stage?"

"As soon as we get you a vocal coach." Josh winks at us, "You're starting over. Remember."

I frown. "I don't want to start over. I'm starting to remember everything now. Things are clearer than they were before."

"Yeah, but your voice isn't ready." He gets serious. "In fact, you still need some time to start making music again. We haven't released an album in years, and your mind is brand new so it's going to take a wile."

"What do you mean?" I can't raise my voice but I do raise my hands. "Do you want to restart the band or not?"

Josh puts the drumstick down, looking panicked. I see in his expression that he has already gone through this - this fight, I mean. Is he hiding something else?

"Guys, let's calm down." Jenna looks panicked too. "Josh is right when he says you're going to need some time to start making music again, Ty. You're not ready."

"Then why did you approve when I said I wanted to play some tunes this morning?" I look at Jenna. 

"I was skeptical, in fact." Josh adds and I shot him a death stare. "But it's your birthday, so you're practically the leader today."

Rage forms on my throat again. I could throw a tantrum right now, but it would be too childish, and I need to show them I'm getting better; so instead I breath in and out.

"I need Twenty One Pilots." I say as calmed as I can. "I need a purpose. Don't you guys need one too?"

We stay in silence. Jenna bites her lip and looks away, and Josh on the other hand stares at me with sadness. 

"I already have a purpose, Tyler." He says. "The band gave me one years ago, and it was thanks to you. But right now things aren't rose-colored, and we need to work together to fix them." He hesitates. "I want the band back, too. Every day since this nightmare started I have wanted to play these drums next to you again, but I got frustrated because I thought I was gonna lose you, goddammit!"

Josh blinks and shakes his head. He notices my surprised expression and says something under his breath. 

"Are you ok?" I timidly ask Josh. 

"Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He stands up. "I'm just... sad. I feel as lost as you, that's all."

I look at Jenna, but she's still looking away. It wasn't my intention to make them both sad at the same time. I should do something for them.

"Hey, let's not be sad." I try to smile. "It's okay. I'm here. You didn't lose me." I sigh. "I will take the vocal coach if that's what you two want, alright?"

Jenna finally faces me, but Josh just nods silently. In that moment, the metal door of the garage makes an horrendous thunder-like sound that makes us all screech and jump.

"Tyler! Jenna!" I hear Zack's voice outside the garage. "Are you guys here? We heard Tyler's voice from outside."

Next to me, Josh mutters a short "SHIT!" and takes a few steps back. Jenna stays frozen for a few seconds, and I feel as if my heart had transported itself to my larynx.

"Eh, Zack!" Jenna finally speaks up. "Yeah, we are here. We are just... eh-" In that moment, Josh trips with his drums and they sound in unison. He mutters "SHIT SHIT SHIT!" and runs to the back of the garage. "We are messing around with the drums!"

I hear Jay's laugh and wonder how long have they been standing outside. 

"Josh hasn't move his drums out of here?" Zack snorts. "I wonder if he's even surviving without them."

"Open the door, Jenna, please." Jay says. "Our asses are freezing."

Jenna runs to the wall and pushes a button. Then, the metal door slides open, revealing my two brothers on the other side and a thread of cold wind that trespasses the garage.

"What are you doing here this early?" Jenna asks them. 

"We just wanted to say happy b-day to our brother." Zack eyes me and points at me. "Hey, you're getting old, aren't you?"

I fake a laugh, praying Josh is well hided somewhere in here. 

"Are you guys staying a while?" I ask, joining Jenna.

"If Jenna approves then yes." Says Jay. "After all our parents are coming over this evening. Right, Zack?"

But Zack's eyes are focused on the interior of the garage, his face suddenly still. I follow his gaze timidly and find out he's staring at a bundle of yellow hair that is NOT well hidden. My heart skips a beat.

"Come on, Josh." Zack says as cold as ice. "You haven't said hello to us yet."






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