trigger

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[ this the chapter that doesn't really affect the book you can disregard of you'd like ]

Trigger warning: suicide mention

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Kentrell

I walked outside to finish my blunt from earlier. I sat on my patio, seeing Arianna on the steps in her thoughts. She didn't even acknowledge my existence.

"I don't wanna be here no more" she said flatly out loud.

I chuckled blowing out smoke "Me neither", BR aint no place nobody really wanna be. I'm gone move my family outta here real soon.

"No I mean on this Earth. It ain't nothing left for me"

I looked over at her seeing no emotion in her face as she looked in the wind. "Everybody better off without me"

Here she go with this crazy shit again ..

Her break up with Babyjoe was 2 weeks ago and ever since then she's been wigging out. I don't think it's over him though .. it gotta be something deeper.

"Stop it"

"Your life was fine before I came. Babyjoe was fine before I ripped his dread out, and Zoey was fine too" sge let out a breath, biting down on my bottom lip.

"No she wasn't" Zoey used to come over my mom house and basically hide out there because she aint wanna go home to her mom abusive boyfriend. Kendell told me everything so I know for a fact Arianna being here made an impact on her. "She better now that you here"

"I guess" She mumbled, still with no emotion in her voice nor face. "I feel so alone. Just like there's nobody that I can tell my problems too"

"Me and Teelee gone listen" she listen to me so ima return that favor.

"Yeah she's pregnant she don't need this kind of negativity in her life. You, you got enough on your plate" she pushed some hair out of her face.

"You know you more than just a roommate to me" I put the blunt out on the step. "Talk to me"

"Where do I start? I got a call from Aaron a few nights ago he telling me how he just did a shoot out with his friends in Chicago, my mama been locked up for like ever and her court date keep getting pushed back, i lost my boyfriend. I really don't care about that but it's the whole fact that I did start to catch feelings towards the end and he still ain't care. My life is at a stagnate right now. I don't even want to finish school, my ex tried to kill me .. what more could go wrong?"

I been through some shit too so I know what it's like having your back against the wall with nobody to call on "Just keep breathin slime you gone make it"

"Seriously. I just wanna be with my daddy so he can tell me what to do" she covered her mouth with her hand as tears started to roll down her face.

I put my arm around her "He watching over you I promise"

"I cant do this anymore" she stood up going into the house. I followed behind her, pulling her into me as a hug. She cried in my chest "Why is all this happening to me?"

"Cause God knew you was strong enough to handle it", God ain't gone give nobody nothing they can't handle.

"But I can't" she mumbled, coughing in between her words.

"You can! Stop doubting yoself"

She pulled away from me, wiping her eyes "All everyone says to me is 'if your dad was here ..' bullshit. I'm just tryna live my life but everything I do Is wrong and these people are right, my dad would be so disappointed"

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