Again

Chapter 2

Before she was able to turn the lock on the door, the tears ran down Kayla's face. Hot tears, stinging, reminding her of all the pain she was always trying to pretend she wasn't feeling. She always tried her hardest not to think about her situation and the severity of it. To the outside world, Zac was her best friend. He had always been.  They thought it was amazing how Zac having a girlfriend hadn't changed that. Except that it had. In ways she was never able to talk to anyone about because what would they think if they knew? She sat on the floor, back against the door, sobbing for what seemed like hours. When she'd finally gained the strength to get herself together and up off of the floor, she looked at the digital radio that sat on the sink and realized that she'd only been in there about 15 minutes. No longer feeling the need to wallow in her own self misery, as she'd just accomplished that leaning against the door, she opted to take a shower instead of a bath.

Once she was done and dressed, she unlocked the door and pulled it open, only to find Zac sitting on the floor leaning against the wall opposite the bathroom door.

She stopped for a second, looked at him, then turned to walk into her bedroom.

"I thought you were going to take a bath?" he asked. She started to say she had, but she knew Zac. She knew he'd followed her and sat and listened to her cry her eyes out on the other side of the door. He hadn't even showered yet.

"I changed my mind," she replied as she threw her towel and clothes into the hamper in her closet. She closed the closet door, took a breath and turned around, "Why are you still here?" she asked.

Zac stayed where he'd been standing at her doorway. He starred at her for a second. Eyes puffy, hair wet, nose red; she was still the most beautiful girl in the world to him. He knew that no amount of time spent with any other woman in the world would ever change that. It made him sad that they'd spent the better part of the last two years doing little more than fighting. As it was, he had very little time to spend at home. The guys had been splitting their time between LA and Tulsa trying to work things out with their label in order to get the green light to record and release their third album. It was, at this point, looking to be little more than a labor of love to them as they'd kept getting shut down. It was hard to him to not be able to sit and talk with Kayla about everything that was happening in his professional life. Taylor and Natalie had been in a relationship only a little while longer than he and Kate had been.  This meant whenever he vented to Natalie, she'd share it with Kate. Kate always brought it up first and Zac always followed suit, the way he had most of their relationship. He'd cry and vent to her all of his frustrations, and by the time he found time to speak with Kayla, she was usually mad that she hadn't heard from him in so long. He'd become too tired to argue back at times, and if he saw her in person he'd just lay there until eventually the conversations just turned into casual greetings before going to bed together.

"I never stopped," Zac finally said, catching her off guard. She looked at him, confused; she'd almost forgotten she'd asked him in the first place. "I love you more then you could ever imagine. I have since the day I met you. I know things aren't okay with us and that is completely, 100%, my fault. Please never doubt how I feel about you. I know that is a lot to ask, but I don't know what other way to put it. I do love you Kayla. No matter what happens in either of our lives I always will." Tears were forming in the corners of his eyes when he finally finished speaking to her. Kayla knew Zac was telling the truth. She knew him and he knew her in ways no one else could ever begin to understand. Their bond was much more than what it looked like from the outside in. Yet even in these moments it was hard for her to completely allow herself to be comforted by his words.