Again

Chapter 4

"Wait, so they weren't mad?" Kayla asked as she sat on Taylor's bed, sipping champagne he'd brought her over from the party.
The party had lasted a couple more hours after the fireworks had finished and Kayla had retreated to her bedroom.  When the guests started to leave, Zac drove Kate and Natalie back to their hotel while Isaac and Taylor stayed behind to help their parents clean up a bit.
"Are you kidding?" Taylor asked as he took a sip from his own glass, "They were pissed!  I mean, I get it.  It's gonna be a media circus for sure and the fans are going to rip her apart, but honestly, like I asked them, what good is being mad going to do?  It's not going to make her un-pregnant just because anyone is mad.  We'll handle the fans the best we can.  At the end of the day, we're having a baby.  It's a blessing."
"That's true," Kayla replied.
"My dad did say he was proud though.  Of both of us, for making the decision to stick together through this and do the right thing."
"He should be proud.  Your parents raised a good son, Taylor.  You're one of the best people I know.  Natalie is really lucky to have you and I know you guys will be amazing parents," Kayla said as she finished off her drink.  She reached out as Taylor poured her another glass.  It was her third, and Kayla was not a drinker, but Taylor knew she'd been having a really hard time lately.  "Your proposal was beautiful."
"Wait... you saw it?"
"Yeah," Kayla chuckled, "I watched it from the window."
Taylor couldn't help but laugh.  Kayla had helped him plan the entire thing, down to the song selection, and it was funny to him that one way or another she was going to make sure things went according to plan.  
"The fireworks too, of course.  Isaac came over to check on me and we watched from the back patio," there was a hint of sadness in her voice.  After she'd gone in her room, she'd sat on her bed and cried.  She cried for all the things she'd lost that she always tried not so hard to think about.  For the father she never knew; for the mother who couldn't love her more than she loved drugs.  For all the family she'd never gotten the chance to meet.  She cried because even when she was surrounded by all the people who'd come to love her in her life, she always felt a constant loneliness.  She cried because she missed her Grandmother so much.
Most of all, though, she cried for Zac.  
Because she knew things with him were over.  They had to be.  He loved Kate.  Her 16 year old brain couldn't comprehend the ability of someone being able to be in love with two people so it concluded that if he loved Kate, there was no way he could possibly love her.  She sat and cried and tried to pinpoint when he fell out of love with her and why.  What had she done?  Was it something she'd said during a fight?  Did she finally cross a line she wasn't able to cross back from?   Whatever it was that happened had taken her by complete surprise.  She couldn't help but wonder if he'd ever been in love with her in the first place, or if they'd somewhere along the way confused love and lust.  She'd always tried her hardest to be a strong person.  Often when people found out about her past, they'd pity her and she hated it.  Rarely did she show emotion; however Zac Hanson had managed to somehow suck every single ounce of emotion out of her, and she was exhausted.  She was sad that she could no longer be with Zac, but even more so, she was heartbroken that she'd lost her best friend.

"Hey, you okay?" Taylor asked.  It wasn't until she blinked and the tears hit her cheeks that she realized she'd been crying again.  She sniffled before rubbing her nose.
"I'll be fine," she said.  "I always am."
Taylor offered her a small smile, but didn't say anything.  
"Why are you here, anyway?" Kayla asked as she finished her drink.  She made a face when she grabbed the bottle and realized it was empty.
"We had a date.  I told you earlier I wanted to talk," Taylor answered as he reached over the side of his bed and grabbed another bottle of champagne off the floor.  Kayla smiled and let out a small squeal as he popped the cork off and refilled both glasses.  The clinked their glasses together and each took a sip.
"Taylor... you just got engaged.  Your future wife is staying in a hotel room alone while you sit in bed with me and drink champagne??? She must really love you, because I would have dumped you the minute you said you weren't spending the night with me."
Taylor laughed, "Well, Mom and Dad were pretty clear that while it's obvious that we've been sleeping together, Natalie being pregnant doesn't grant us permission to just do it whenever we want to."
"Why not?" Kayla asked, "It's not like she's going to get any more pregnant than she already is!"
"I know.  But they asked us to just be respectful and I think it's pretty important to Natalie that we honor that.  She was so scared to tell them and they reacted a lot better than either of us anticipated so I think she just wants to do whatever she can to stay on their good side."
Kayla smiled, "She's a nice girl, Tay, you got really lucky."
"I know," he replied feeling proud.  It made him happy to know that this sudden turn of events in his life was being supported by the people in his life who meant so much to him. "Ike flipped for a second, but then he was okay.  Zac didn't say much though."
"He never does when he's caught off guard.  He's like a deer caught in headlights, he just freezes."  Kayla turned her head and looked out of Taylor's bedroom window.  She stood and walked over to it and stared into the darkness covering her back yard.

There was a comfortable silence in the air for a few moments before they both heard the front door open and then close again.  Kayla looked down at her watch, 1:37 AM.  Taylor and Isaac had come home close to midnight.  Isaac had gone to bed shortly after, which meant Zac was home. She looked at Taylor, then turned back to the window.  She heard Zac walking towards their side of the house as she heard Taylor get up and shut his door.

"He loves her, you know?" she said as she continued looking out of the window.
"Who?" Taylor asked taking his place back on the bed.
"Kate.  She told him she loved him tonight during your fireworks and he told her he loves her too," she replied.  Her voice was barely above a whisper.  She sniffled and turned to look at Taylor. "Even after everything that he's put me through.  He loves her."
"He loves you too," Taylor said, standing up and coming towards her. 
Kayla shook her head, "No Taylor.  He doesn't. Not the way I loved him.  You don't hurt someone the way he hurt me when you love them.  I know I let him, but he took advantage of me.  He took advantage of the way he knew I felt about him."

There was a long pause, and Taylor was unsure of what to say or do.  

"I asked him earlier if he still loved me and he said yes," Kayla let out a small laugh as she said it. "I even asked him not to answer me and he went out of his way to tell me he did."

Taylor walked over and wrapped his arms around her.  It took a moment to register, and she didn't move until she felt the sob working it's way out of her body.  She held on tightly to him and he swore he could feel his own heart breaking for her.  They stood, embracing each other as she sobbed full body shaking sobs.  He was afraid if he let go, she'd collapse right then and there.  They heard a soft knock at the door.

"Tay?" they both heard Zac call.  Taylor looked over at Kayla and she wiped away at her tears. 
"It's ok," she said as she walked back to the window.  Zac knocked again as Taylor reached the door.
"Hey, do you know where Kayla is? She's not in her room"
Taylor opened the door a little wider so that Zac had a clearer view into the room.  He looked over at Taylor and could see the sadness on his face. 
"Kail? Can we talk?" he finally asked.
Kayla closed her eyes and took in a deep breath.  Zac hadn't called her "Kail" in so long, she'd almost forgotten it was his nickname for her.
"I don't wanna talk right now, Zac.  We can talk tomorrow."
Zac turned back at Taylor.  He sighed and turned back in Kayla's direction. "We're leaving in the morning," he said.  Kayla turned around, confused.
"I thought you guys weren't leaving until Monday?" she asked Taylor.  It hurt Zac's feelings that she'd directed the question at Taylor instead of him.
It was Taylor's turn to turn to Zac. "Um...  we're, uh... we're driving back with the girls and flying out from there," he finally answered.
Kayla paused, then turned to Zac. "We can talk when you get back then." 
Zac lowered his head and took a deep breath, "We're not coming back till the week of Tay's birthday."
Kayla widened her eyes.  This was news to her. "Lots of changes in plans, I see."
"Yeah," began Taylor, "We have some meetings that got pushed back a few weeks with the label. We figured we'd use the time to polish up some of the demos we recorded when we were out there the last time."
"I get it," she replied. "I'm sure we'll talk before you get back.  I'm tired, I'm going to bed.  Goodnight Tay."  She gave Taylor a hug then turned back to Zac, "Goodnight."  She walked around him and headed for the door.  Zac watched as she made her way out the door.  He turned back to Taylor.
"Tay--"
"You need to fix this.  I'm not telling you what to do or who to choose.  I don't really care who you choose to be with, honestly.  But this thing with Kayla, you need to fix it."
Zac stood silently.  He knew what Taylor meant and he knew he was right.  All he had to do now was figure out how to do it.