Fourteen

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A not so special night.

13 June 2009

My 20th birthday & D-day, to say I was nervous to see what Jiho had planned was a understatement. I felt like I would be sick at any moment. My head was a mess, my stomach kept turning. I was terrified, I kept hearing Son's words off two day ago.

"You deserve what you desire, but Jiho is not it"

I knew he was right, geez when was that man ever wrong, it was like he had a gift of knowing things. At this rate I'll be a virgin till I'm 30 at least.
I really hope he hasn't spent to much on tonight, I'll feel like such a bitch if he did.

He'll be here in 10 minutes.
I get my shoes & walk into the living room. Jisoo, Kyla, Sung Deuk & Kris are just laying aroung watching a movies. Kyla sits up with a big grin.

~So... tonights the nights~ Kyla says.
~D-day~ Kris chuckles.
~Yah, don't be so crued~ Sung Deuk says frowning at me.
~Honestly I don't know about that~ I say.
~Don't worry too much about that, just enjoy your birthday, ok~ Jisoo says.

Son tells me to relax & not to worry to much. Breath girl, breath he says. There is a knock at the door & I rush to answer before Kyla & Kris can say anymore crued things. Jiho is standing there smiling & gives me a quick hug before shouting a hello to everyone as I close the door.

~You look beautiful, not that you don't always do~ Jiho says awkwardly.
~Thanks that's sweet~ I say.
~I know it's your birtbday & all, but I thought we could just have a quite night & I'll cook for you~ Jiho says.

Ah shit, alone at his place I think & start to freak. Breath, stay calm don't panick. I smile & nod, feeling not so calm as I look on the outside. It's a quick 15 minute car ride to his apartment. While we drive I feel myself relaxing, like I always do with him. He is just such a cool, calm person so chill.

When we reach his apartment he tells me to just sit down, dinner will be done in 5 minutes. Looking around his apartment I'm relieved to see no candles or rose petals nothing that would give off a romantic vibe what so ever & I'm completely relieved. I can finally relax.

~Dinners ready~ Jiho says.
~Wow, it looks good~ I say.
~Well I know you love food, though one wouldn't say that by looking at you~ Jiho says chuckling.
~It's all the dancing & exercise~ I say.

We eat in silence & I would have to say, despite the fact it looked good it tasted horrible, how is that even possible. It had no flavour, none, how weird. I don't eat as much, but I see him drinking his third glass of wine. I never though he was a big drinker, since all the other times we went out he didn't drink as much, probably cause he had to drive.

~Are you nervous by any chance~ I ask.
~Oh, sorry, no I just like this wine~ Jiho says.
~You still have to drive me home later you know~ I say.
~I thought you are spending the night~ Jiho says.
~About that.... I think we need to talk first~ I say.

I get up from the table & gesture him to come sit next to me. There are a few things I need to tell you I say. I start with how when I kissed him the first time, I wasn't in my right mind & each kiss after that I didn't feel much each time, no fire you know I say. As I talk his expression gets darker & I serouisly start to get scared. He suddenly jumps up & grabs me by the shoulder really hard pulling me up towards him.

~What crap are you pulling right now~ He shouts shaking me.
~I know you want me don't be such a tease~ He shouts again.
~The way you dress in tight clothes, the way you always flirt with every man especially Son, all of you screams, I'm easy!~ He says with a red face.

Totally flabbergasted I just stare at him with big eyes. I never knew that's how people saw me, I'm just naturally friendly, I though people knew that. Gripping me tighter he starts kissing me, grabbing at my hair, pulling so hard that it hurt. I was frozen in shock, that the guy I thought was sweet & nice & understanding, disappeared into this aggressive animal.

When he started pulling on my shirt, that's when my training kicked in & through him to the ground, twisting his arm behind his back till I heard a crack, that's when I snapped out of it. Looking at him on the ground in pain, I kneeled down & took his chin between my fingers & said you don't know a thing about me, stay out of my way or your arm won't be the only thing that gets broken. Don't bother to come to work on monday either, you wont have a job.

~You don't have a say in that you bitch~ Jiho says.
~Oh I don't, that's funny since Bang PD is my uncle & after I tell him what happend, you won't have a job~ I say.
~So how about you just quit & save yourself the embarrassment~ I say.
~I'll sue you for breaking my arm~ Jiho says.
~Good luck with that, it was self defensive asshole~ I say.

I rush out leaving an in pain asshole behind. Hopefully he won't come to work, I really don't want anyone to know about this.

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