The Marauders: Year Seven Part One

Being Headboy is Exhausting

When dinner was over, James and Lily saw to it that the prefects were guiding the First Years to their common rooms and went to collect Filch's latest list of things that were banned from the school corridors. "Don't know what Dumbledore's thinking making you Headboy," Filch muttered as he dug through his desk for the most up to date list. "Greatest offender of every rule in the school, you are." He glared at James, "What'd you do, bewitch him?" 

"He earned the badge," Lily said, "By being a model student."

"Model student!" Filch grumbled. "Got a drawer full of offense cards with his name on it right behind me - model my  -- Aah!" He was interrupted quite suddenly by Peeves the Poltergeist, who had zipped through the wall, directly through the back of Filch, spinning to come to a ghostly seat on the edge of the caretaker's desk.

Peeves kicked his feet over the edge of the desk as he hovered, beaming at James. "Peevesy's just heard the NEEEEEEWS!" he sang, "Joyous day, giddy day, when James Potty is the Headboy-ee-ay!" He suddenly spun off the desk and into the air, just as Filch took up a sheath of papers to swat at the poltergeist with, as though whacking him with the Daily Prophet would do a thing to deter Hogwart's most notoriously naughty spirit.

"OOOOOUTTT!" Filch yelped, jumping up to wave his paper.

"Yup, I am, Peeves," James said, nodding as Peeves zipped about, just out of reach of Filch.

"Peevesy has also heard that there's a MISSES POTTY WEE POTTER." He spun upside down to stare Lily in the eyes. "How's the honey mooooooooooooooooon?" and he turned over as he said it, pulling his transparent trousers to moon the both of them before zipping to the ceiling rafters.

"Peeve, bloody hell," James said, reaching to block Lily's eyes.

Lily laughed and said, "You're filthy," she said.

Peeves grinned and blew a raspberry.

Filch shoved his updated list of banned objects into James's hand. "GO and take the Poltergeist with you! I've got a Great Hall to clean up!" he grabbed his mob and glowered at Peeves, then shuffled out the door hurriedly, clicking his tongue for Mrs. Norris to follow.

James smirked. "Good one, Peeves, you've chased him out of his own office."

"I live here now," sang Peeves, spinning about, "I've won the castle! Wheeee!"

James laughed, "Well, you have fun. We're off." He nodded for Lily to follow him and they got to the door and were nearly out it when Peeves suddenly dropped down before them.

"Hang on!" Peeves cried, dangling upside down, his ghostly hair fluttering. He held onto the suspenders of his clothes and he studied the pair of them for a moment, then, "Potty wee Potter, this badgey-wadgey isn't gone to your head is it?"

"Gone to my head?" James asked.

Peeves gave him a stern look. "You've not gone soft?"

"Peeves," James replied, "I solemnly swore to you that I'm up to no good, and that's not going to change just because Dumbledore has pinned some badge on my chest, mate."

A grin broke across Peeve's face. "Heee hee heee!! Old Dumbles thought he got hisself a tamed shrew but he hasn't!!!!" Peeves clapped wildly, "Heee hee heeeee!!" and he spun off down the hallway, cackling.

Lily laughed, "Gosh he's such a nuisance."

"He really is, though," James agreed, chuckling. "But he's alright, once you know how to play at his game. Ever since we discovered he leaves you be if you swear you're up to no good --"

"Is that where you got the idea for the passcode for your silly map then?" Lily asked, smirking.

James flushed. "First off, the Marauder's Map is not silly. Second of all... well, actually, yes." Then, "It was my idea."