Sunfeeder [BNHA]

ch. 18

Chapter Eighteen;;- Sleep

"The moon is pretty tonight," [name] said quietly just before entering the train station. The night sky wished her goodbye with the cool spring air, the stars winking their own farewells.

Tamaki looked up at the moon and nodded in agreement. It was a full moon, shining bright enough to put all the street lights to shame. It blinked out of sight as they went in, boarding the train.

It was later than they usually went home, since [name] had been forced to take a later shift. Well, forced wasn't the right word, but she had trouble turning her beloved co-workers down. The train was deserted because of the time, so they went ahead and sat down. [name] plugged in her headphones, offering one to Tamaki, as they usually did. She let out a wide yawn as she turned on the music.

Once the music began to play, [name] wondered if she had chosen the right playlist. The one playing was one that had a lot of soft vocals and gentle string instruments, one that could easily lure someone to sleep. She glanced over at Tamaki, watching his face. He looked happy with the song playing, so [name] decided against changing it. She didn't want to be annoying and change the song in the middle of one, especially if Tamaki was enjoying it.

Unable to hold it back, [name] yawned again, covering her mouth with her palm.

Tamaki looked over at [name] when she yawned, stifling his own yawn. It was much later than he usually stayed up, by now he was usually snuggled in bed. He didn't know how [name]'s schedule usually looked, if there was an regularity to it at all, but he was sure that she didn't usually stay up this late either. He hoped that she had finished most of her school work before work, or else she would be in trouble tomorrow when she was running on very little sleep.

His cheeks flooded with warmth when he realized that he was kind of staring at her. Tamaki looked away again, playing with his fingers in his lap. He did enjoy the music that [name] listened to. It had a calming effect that made him feel at ease, just like being around her made him feel. Her presence was like a safe place. He didn't know how it was possible for a person to be a safe place, but the fact remained that she was probably the safest place on the hectic battlefield of life.

A sudden weight on his shoulder brought Tamaki's attention back to the side that [name] was on.

Locks of [hair color] fell onto her face, obscuring parts of it from Tamaki's view, but he could tell by her even breathing and closed eyes that she must be asleep. Her face looked peaceful in sleep. All the tension that tended to build up in her brow on hard days was gone, her forehead smooth of creases. Her lips were parted, her breaths coming slow and steady. Her hair, even though it was messy from the long day, fell over her face in shiny strands. Tamaki softly brushed it behind her ear, knowing how annoying it was when you get woken up by hair tickling your face.

His hand lingered over her face, savoring the pleasant feeling of warmth radiating from her skin. His mind returned to the story she had told him of her middle school days. He remembered his own days, the days when he was too nervous to do much more than sprout a small plant from his hand. He had made a lot of progress with his quirk since then, but... what about him?

Tamaki chewed on his lip, hand returning to his lap. He sighed, looking away from [name]'s tranquil complexion and letting his eyes shut. In a rare moment of not caring, he rested his cheek against the top of her head. Her hair was soft, he noticed almost immediately.

[name] was Tamaki's safe place. It felt like on the toughest days, all he needed was to be by her side for a little while. When it felt like the whole world was against him all he had to do was to hear her laugh about something silly. On the days were he wasn't sure he could stomach it all anymore, he'd fall into the relaxing embrace of her cheerful smile and there was nothing to worry about anymore.

He wasn't perfect, and he knew that he never would be. He knew that he was kind of a coward, when it came down to it. He knew that every time he yearned to go home, he was giving into the weak side of himself. He knew that he probably undervalued himself too often and overvalued other people more than he should. He knew that he let himself be crushed by pressure too easily. Tamaki was sure he was flawed in more ways than he wasn't.

But she didn't care. She always smiled at him the same way. She always greeted him with that same wave. [name] didn't care about any of that.

To [name], Tamaki wasn't any of that. He was just Tamaki.

Warm, happy, and feeling safe, Tamaki's breath evened out as well, and his own consciousness drifted off, enveloping his body in sleep.

. . [BONUS] . .

The jolt of the train woke both of them up as it approached a stop that came before both of theirs. [name] is suddenly aware of their position, her head on Tamaki's shoulder and his head on top of hers. Tamaki's immunity to the embarrassment of the situation wore off abruptly.

Both pretended to stay asleep, [name] to spare Tamaki of the embarrassment and Tamaki also to spare himself of the embarrassment. Both checked to see if the other was awake, and when each thought the other was still asleep, they both decided to stay put.

It wouldn't hurt to stay this way a little longer.

a/n: this chapter is mostly from tamaki's pov because it's important to get his perspective too

and honestly i love can't even begin to express how absolutely in love with tamaki's character that i am like,,, he portrays a very real personality and it almost hurts in those moments that that character shines through so well. personally, i have very very bad social anxiety (to the point where its very nearly crippling) and so maybe it's because i see myself in tamaki that i just want to squish his cheeks and promise that it's gonna be okay. its lonely as fuck tryna get through middle and high school without someone to lean on, and i wasn't even lucky enough to have a mirio for a lot of mine. i was fortunate that my older brother could be such a crutch to me when i entered high school, even though it made finishing my last year without him incredibly difficult. tamaki is a pure character that i can't wait to see grow and change in the original work, and i really hope that one day he gets to reach the point where he isn't just characterized by his shyness.

sorry for the random rant lol i get emotional when im sleepy