Promise to Remember Me

Significance

"I want you to be happy."

Her last words on that video lingers in Steve and Bucky's ears. She said it like she was so content. Almost as if she knew she couldn't make Steve happy. She spoke as if she was a burden. But a burden no longer be carried.

And it broke their hearts. Because they knew she didn't want to be heavy on their shoulders.

Steve scoffs with a smile as he wipes the almost-fallen tears on the lids of his eyes.

"How long am I going to cry over you?" He pauses the next video with a click of the remote. His blue eyes lands right on the next page of her journal.

December 12, 2011

. . . . .

Bucky still sits against the door. He had the necklace in his hand. He must have unconsciously grabbed it from the wall.

He fingers the ring and pinches the dog tag between his fingers.

The voices from down the hall stopped several minutes ago. There was only an occasional page flip that echoed through the apartment.

Had Steve slept? It was early in the morning. Or to say, it was the day after Cynthia had died.

As a super soldier, he didn't really need sleep. But as a human, mandatory. For both of them.

Bucky raises the necklace to his eyes. Gazing upon it a little closer. A small pearl latched on to a silver band. A rounded dog tag with 'Steven Grant Rogers' engraved in it, along with serial numbers.

The necklace was unique. But it was complete. All the items on the necklace shared something. But Bucky didn't know what.

He stuffs the necklace in his pant pocket. Wanting to feel the lump of metal on his leg.

Bucky stands up.

He now knows for sure that he knew her.

Her familiar voice and touch. The way she caressed him when she could. It all felt to real to be fantasy.

He tried his best to remember her. He really did. The trigger was just out of reach.

Bucky opens the window to leave. The journal was gone, now what was his next strategy?

. . . . .

Steve read the pages slowly. Taking in the hidden meaning of words.

Just imagining her voice reading it to him.

Steve was stubborn when it came to things he cared about.

He curls his fingers under his chin.

But that's what I liked about him the most. He wasn't afraid to stand up, he was just afraid to sit down. He was afraid of being weak.

What? He was?

Steve reads with more concentration.

When he cried, he did in private. I know, I've walked in on him crying. Bucky would be down the street working for some pocket money.

Steve would be alone in his room. Sitting on his bed. He would say he was taking a nap. I think he cried himself to sleep most days.

Steve furrows his brows. He remembers all of this.

Then when Bucky would get back his eyes would be puffy and red. He thought we didn't notice. But, oh ho, we did.

He smiles.

Those years I would sleep with Steve. I left my roommate alone and slept with him instead. He often said he was cold so it wasn't a problem.

I remember his warmth. His limbs were thin. Cheek bones sharp. Sometimes he would sleep on my arm for a better head rest.

Oh gosh. Steve blushes but continues reading. How did she remember all this?! It was years ago!

And gosh, his lashes were so dang long. I was jealous. He was beautiful. Inside and out. I love him. Because he was Steve. My Steve.

'My Steve...' Steve thought. He feels warm inside.

And Bucky? Ladies man.

Steve chuckles. Flipping the page to the next.

He would have girls talking to him and smiling and giggling. I don't think he had time alone besides bed time.

One day Bucky had a fever. Steve came to get me because Bucky didn't get up after an hour. He never did that.

When I got to their room girls were already swarming their door. Oh my god, I practically yelled at them to move or I would kick them down myself.

I remembered Steve's terrified expression. I hope I didn't scar him for life...

Yeah. Steve remembers. He rests the journal in his lap.

It took days for the fever to go down. Constantly running back and forth for cold water. I practically never left the room. I slept with Steve. I sat next to Bucky for most of the day.

When Bucky woke up or opened his eyes, I would feed him as much as I could before he blacked out again.

It was morning when he got better. I was asleep but Steve told me when I woke up. I could remember I was outraged. I stomped all around the building looking for Bucky. The girls told me he didn't want to spread the sickness so he stepped outside.

Guess where I went? Outside.

He was sitting on the bench outside. I yelled his name.

When I got to him, he thanked me. He told me that he loved me and then we hugged. That was it. I wasn't angry anymore.

When Steve approached me I gave him a kiss on the cheek. I thanked him too, for taking care of Bucky.

Sometimes I wonder where I would be without my boys.

Steve eyes droops. His limbs suddenly felt heavy and exhausted.

Where would she be?

In fact, where would they be?

If they hadn't met, would she still be a waitress? Would she have died decades ago instead of now? Would she have been happy?

Would they still be friends? Steve and Bucky?

These thoughts ran through Steve's head. The thoughts that he thought about, not only now, but the day they met.

And it tore him apart to think about it. Not seeing her smile. Not seeing her love someone. Not hearing her talk. Not seeing her in general.

Because he would never be the him now if they didn't meet. Steve felt so grateful that 26 letters couldn't describe even the most detailed of gratitude in his being.

"Don't you ever forget..." Steve mumbles as he drifts off to sleep.

Only now that Steve and Bucky realize her significance.

- - - - -

Schools starting so updates will probably be weekly/monthly.

Sorry :c

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