~Headache~Krii7y

Chapter 4

Smii7y's POV~

[TW: Just A Little Trigger Warning Before This. In This Chapter There Is A Little Bit Of Self Harm And More Abuse Involvement. I Also Wanted To Point Out The Fact That I Have No Idea If Smii7y Has Ever Been Abused And This, Like All My Other Stories So Far, Is Made Up. Apologizes!]

Ever Since John Came Earlier We Had An Blast. He Took Me To Eat, Let Me Actually Clean Myself Up, And We Recorded Videos Together. Just Like Old Times. We Were Just Watching An Movie When My Phone Went Off And Everything Started Fading Back To Hell. I Can't Get My Mind Off Of The Conversation.

"Hey, Smii7y. You There?"

Yeah Man. John Is Here As Well. But Wassup?

"It's About Craig."

Oh?

"Yeah, He Asked Me If You Told Me You Had An Girlfriend, Which I Had No Idea, Then He Left For The Bathroom. I Just Checked Up On Him And He Is Crying."

Oh.. Poor Mini. I'll Text Him In A Bit But Lemme Explain.

"Mkay."

Alrighty So I Had A Girlfriend.

"Obviously."

Yeah, Yeah. But I Had An Serious Problem With Her.

"???"

She Refused To Let Me Hang Out With Y'all. And If I Tried She Would Hurt Me. She Smoked, Drink, Abused Me. I Needed Advice Or Anything, So I Went To Craig, Knowing He Had Advice. I Never Told Anyone Else What Was Going On But I Guess John Wanted To Know What Was Going On So, It May Of Stroke An Nerve Of Memories Or Something. Sorry Man.

"Nah Man, It's Cool. You Just Know How Much It Hurts To See Craig Cry. First It Was Tyler Admitting His Love For Craig, Which He Did Deny, Then This. I Just Wanted To Make Sure He Is Alright."

Wait Tyler Confessed?? Whatever. Yeah Though. I Would Check Up On Him As Well. Wouldn't Want Craig To Be Shook Forever And That.

"Yeah, Well. I'll Let Ya And John Hang Out. Peace."

See Ya.

Ugh. Why Didn't I Tell Brian? Then Craig Would've Been Happy And It Wouldn't Be My Fault. God, I'm Such An Idiot. I Know, I Know. 'Smii7y Don't Think So Negative!' But I Can't NOT Speak Negative When Your Girlfriend Made You Feel Like Crap Then You Hurt One Of Your Best Friends! And Hell, Even Made Your Mega Best Friend That Lives Another Continent Away From You Come To Check Up!

I Noticed John Taking An Glance At Me Time To Time And Frowning. That Just Makes It Worse. "Yeah. I Know. I'm Disgusting Right Now. You Don't Have To Fucking Stare-" Wait, Did I Say That Out Loud? Because If I Did That Explains Why John Was Looking At Me Shocked. "Sorry Bud. I Wasn't Staring Because Of That, But Because You Look Sad. Everything Okay?" Welp, That Answers My Question. I Sigh And Look Away Some. "Nah, It's My Fault. I'm Just, Kinda Messed Up Right Now From, Ya Know." He Nodded, Understanding. But What The Hell Does He Understand?

He Hasn't Been Abused Before. He Hasn't Even Been Made Fun Of Before. His Fashion Is On Point, His Voice Is Perfect, His Look Matches His Personality Perfectly, He Is Perfect While I'm... I'm Horrible. Now I Realize Why She Didn't Want Me. Why They Didn't Want Me. Why No One Wanted Me. I'm Ugly, More Of A Female Look And Voice Then Male, My Fashion Is On Point But Just Never Matches Me Personality. Nothing About Me Is Good. Nothing At All.

Oh No, Not Again. Not More Of Those Voices. Y'all Know, Those Dark Voices That Tell You To Kill Yourself? Yeah, Those Voices. Oh God. They Seemed To Of Gotten Louder The Last Time I Heard Them. "Smii7yyyy." Nope, Smii7y Isn't Here Right Now, He Is Help Me Town. "Smii7yyyyy!" Why Are They Getting Louder? Can't You Tell I Don't Want You Here? "Smiithers!" Wait, They Don't Have Nicknames For Me. "Huh?" I Look Over At John Who Was Shaking And Calling For Me. He Sighed In Relief, "Thank God You're Okay! What The Hell Was That About?!" I Shrug Some Before Getting Up And Rubbing My Eyes, "Sorry. Distracted I Guess. I'll Go Take Care Of Myself, Okay?" He Nodded Some But I Could Tell In His Eyes There Was Negativity About That.

[Trigger Warning Right Here]

I Walk Out Of The Room Until I Was Out Of Sight Before Dashing To The Bathroom. I Instantly Rush In, Shut The Door, And Lock It Behind Me. I Shakily Walk Over To My Medicine Cabinet Before Opening It And Pulling Out A Razor Blade I Kept Hidden There. I Walk Back And Into The Shower Before Sitting Down. I Roll My Sleeves Of My Sweater Up Before Leaving Three Little Marks On Both My Wrists. I Sigh In Relief As The Blood Starts To Trickle Some. I Know This Was Bad But I Have Nothing Else To Stop Myself. Besides, I Don't Do A Lot Of Them.

[End Of Trigger Warning]

I Stand Up And Walk Back Out Of The Shower And Back Over To The Medicine Cabinet. Since I Didn't Have A Lot Of Pills There I Had Medical Equipment, So I Grab The Roll Of Bandages I Had There And Started Wrapping Up My Wrists. When Done I Put The Bandages Back, Close The Cabinet, And Roll My Sleeves Down Before Heading Back To John Who Was Texting Someone. I Sneak Behind The Couch And Appear Right Beside John By Leaning Over His Shoulder To Surprise Him. "Who Ya Textinggg?" John Stayed Still, Aww. Worth An Try, "I'm Texting Fitz. Why?" "I Just Wanted To Know." I Walk Back Some Before Getting An Little Run Up And Jumping Over The Couch While Yelling, "YYYEEEEEEEETTTTTT-" I Ended Up Flopping On My Stomach Right Next To John With An Little 'Oof.' He Just Laughed As I Got Myself Up And Sat Down Normally Next To Him. While He Texted I Went Back To Watching The Movie.