A cry for help

What's real

I turn my music up louder but the alarms still blare through.
I close my eyes and try to sleep but I see her being dragged away, I see him punch and kick those trying to protect him.
I open my eyes and my home is no longer here, because I'm there.
I open my eyes and find myself I that room, that awful room.

My home flicks back into view. In and out of view like a flame.
Reality and nightmare fighting for control.

I need to get out, I have to get out of here.
It okay, tomorrow I'll be back in college. I hate it, but it's not the hospital.
To get there I have to get on the train.
Oh god the trains.

I turn my music up louder by her scream still rings through my ears.
I look around and suddenly the platform is empty, it's just me and the approaching train.
Then the people flicker back into view like a flame.
Reality and dream fighting for dominance of my world.

I pull my hair to ground me. I bite my skin to ground me. I need the pain to ground me. To show me what's real because the pain is always real.

It's not enough.

I slice my skin to ground me. I burn my flesh to ground me. The more pain I feel the more real it is.
I turn my music up louder. It can't get any louder. Why can I still hear her? Where are the alarms coming from?
Where am I? Where am I!

What's real.