Raised by the Hara 💞

anxiety 101!!

** A few weeks after the concert **
Beths Pov
I feel so stressed at the moment.  I feel like people are trying to pressure me into writing song, producing them, go on tour etc.  Recently ive had quite a few mental breakdowns and panic attacks. Zack knows about them cause i had one when i was shopping because i saw my dad and jacks mum.  He helped calm me down by taking me into costa and buying me a tiramasu latte. Ive been bottling up my emotions for so long. Keira has bad mental health so i dont want to trouble her with. It would be weird for me if i told Jack because i dont want him to start babying me.  Zack knows but i dont want to risk the others hearing me talking to him. There was no other way but to talk to a mental health embassador online. I remembered that keira told me brad helped her. Maybe one of the other the vamps lads can help me i thought. I was snapped out of my thoughts when josh shouted that him and the boys were going to the studio. I took this opportunity to message someone from the vamps. I remembered that a while ago James was on Lorraine talking about his mental health and now he got bullied at school.  Ive been getting quite close to James lately and josh has been a bit jealous.  Theres nothing to be jealous of. James has a girlfriend. He would never like me anyway.
I took out my phone and messaged James on whatsapp.
Beth🌸👑: hey buttercup. I need your advice. 
James🙈💘:hey, sure whats up x
Beth🌸👑: so recently ive been dealing with extremely bad panic attacks. One as to which one point i almost died because i couldnt breathe because of my asthma. Zack knows about them but he hasnt told the others. I know that you spoke out openly about your health the other day and i was wondering if you could give me any tips/advice x
James🙈💘:right, i know exactly what you mean about the panic attack.  Its as if you cant breathe and you are going to colapse. Whenever you have a panic attack breathe in a rythem. Breathe in and out slowly and gently instead of gasping for air. May i ask why you feel like this and do you know what caused the panic attacks? Xx
Beth🌸👑:a few weeks ago i had one because i saw comments saying that i should go and kill myself.  I know its just silly haters trying to bring me down but it got me thinking. People / fans are so demanding. They expect new videos each week, expect new music 24/7, expect tours all the time. I have no time for myself.  I cant handle the pressure, the hate,  the negativity in the fandom, any of it. Sometimes i think i dont want to be a singer because of it. And then the other day i saw my dad and stepmum and all the memories came flooding back and i had a meltdown, luckily zack was there and helped me. Idk what to do anymore xx
James🙈💘:Youve got to rise above the negativity. Those people are just jealous because they dont live the life you have. Also, never kill yourself because honestly you are my best friend (and that says alot considering im in a band). With tours and music,  do it when you are ready to not when fans demand it. We all need a little time to ourselves now and again.  Also, do you think me and the boys dont get hate or something?  We get it all the time and thats what makes us keep going.  We work hard to prove them wrong. No one should ever get death threats but thats what happens in 'showbiz'. I love you always remember that  xxxxx❤
Beth🌸👑: thank you so much for this chat. I really needed it.  Also you are my best friend too (other than keira).  I will take your advice on board.  Again thank youuuu💓💓

James pov (bet you werent expecting that)
Im glad Bethany told me all of this. Im glad she trusts me. I had no idea that she felt this way. I think I love her... But i cant i have a girlfriend and i cant do that to josh...

********Authors Note ************
What did you all think of the chapter 💓  and oo a juicy little cliffhanger.. James likes Bethany!!!!!!  WHAT!!!